Stranger than Fiction
by Mariel1
Summary: Jo McCormick is twenty-one years old, and is returning to Charterville for college after having lived in another state for ten years. What happens when Little Ghoul decides to play matchmaker for her and Count Fangula?! Please (pretty please) review.
1. Default Chapter

Stranger than Fiction

(Author's note: I've noticed that there aren't too many Beetleborgs fanfics out there, and while I thought about this an idea came to me…What if a romance took place between Jo and a certain vampire who lives at Hillhurst? This story takes place when Jo is somewhat older. When Little Ghoul sees the changes that have come over the young girl and how the house monsters are looking at her, she gets an idea…)

Chapter 1

Jo McCormick sighed and rested her head against the passenger seat window, trying to ignore the waves of nausea that rolled slowly over her abdomen and teasingly caressed her throat. Her brother Drew was usually such a careful driver, but like her, he was excited to be returning to their hometown; his driving that day left much to be desired.

Charterville. Hometown of the Beetleborgs, the place of their birth, a place of memories…

Nukus and his mate Horribelle, as well as Vilor and the huge giant created by Les Fortunes to be used against Robo Borg, had finally been sent back to the comics. It had taken a year since the first appearance of Nukus, but they had done it with the help of Robo Borg and the Astral Borgs. There were no more comic book monsters to fight. And there never would be, since Les Fortunes, who had been battling mental illness, had taken his own life soon after the defeat of Nukus. The two had never gotten along, but with Nukus went his chance to finally get even with his goody-two-shoes brother, Art. 

It was truly a shame; that same goody-two-shoes had grieved bitterly for his brother, and was inconsolable for a long, long time. Jo had never seen a grown man cry before, unless she counted Flabber, but the phasm was, to say the least, melodramatic. She knew she would never be able to rid herself of the image of Art Fortunes as he was that day, sobbing his heart out in Flabber's parlor. Even the house monsters had kept a respectful distance; indeed, no one understood death like they did. After all, not _every_ dead person was given the preternatural life that they possessed. Jo was surprised by their quiet approach to the whole thing, but she assumed that Art's tears had just made them uncomfortable, or had embarrassed them. At any rate, they had left him alone.

A year after the defeat of Nukus, Jo and Drew's family had moved, splitting up the Beetleborgs and leaving Charterville in the hands of the Titanium Silver Beetleborg, Roland. They had kept in touch for ten years, and now that it was time for college, Drew and Jo had decided to go to…where else? Charterville University. Drew, the eldest of the two siblings, had even put off going until Jo was ready, just so that they could go together. The reunion of the Beetleborgs was much too important to be spaced out every five or so years. They had decided in their correspondences that it was best to all come together at once.

Drew took a corner too sharply, and Jo gulped. She cracked a window, and the greasy smell of deep fried fast food assailed her nostrils. She pressed her lips together, and rolled up the window. _Think of water, think of ice, think of water, think of ice…_

"It_ is_ kinda hot in here," said Drew, opening his own window. Damn him!

"Pull over," she groaned, unbuckling her seat belt. "Now!"

Drew took one look at his sister's face, and pulled over to the shoulder. The vehicle had barely stopped before she tumbled out of the car, her hand pressed over her mouth.

While his sister was heaving in the gutter, Drew fished around in the glove compartment for something that might settle her stomach. All he could find was half a role of Lifesavers, but they were better than nothing. He got out of the car, and walked around to the back, where she was leaning against the trunk and staring at the horizon. "Here," he handed her a Lifesaver, which she eyed dubiously before she took it and popped into her mouth. Wintergreen…she preferred peppermint, but at least this took the awful taste out of her mouth. 

"We're nearly there," Drew told her, handing her the rest of the role, and digging his hands into his pockets. "Why don't we stop at Hillhurst? Give you a break from all this driving."

She nodded, chewing the mint and heading for the passenger seat.

***

Before Drew and Jo reached the house, the door was yanked open by Flabber, who divided into seven versions of himself, each one playing a fanfare on a trumpet. "Whoo-hah!" the middle one cheered, "Hail the conquering heroes!"

"Is that them?" said a voice from inside the house, and a tall young man appeared in the doorway.

"Roland!" Jo cried, jogging up the steps to greet him. 

"Hey, what about me?" Flabber pouted, folding his hands in front of him.

"Hey, Flabber!" she laughed, giving the phasm a warm hug. "It's been too long, you guys."

Roland spotted Drew leaning against his car and watching the spectacle with a satisfied smile. "Ten years." Said Roland, ignoring Flabber, who was literally crying a waterfall on the porch. "It really _has_ been too long."

Drew shook his head and approached them, and gave Flabber a joking swat on the arm. "Nice to see you too, Flabber, but you're dripping snot on your shoes!"

"Wha…eew!" the phasm shook his right foot, and then his left. He frowned at Jo, who was trying not to laugh, and said sarcastically, "Thanks for telling me. Well…are you coming in or not?"

***

Count Fangula was the only monster that didn't try to cause some sort of chaos that afternoon; he was busy going through a stack of Anne Rice novels, and laughing at her assumptions. He had to admit that he liked her style, though. At least she was accurate about how vampires were made, and about how it felt to drink living blood. He also enjoyed the chapters that involved risqué material, though contrary to Anne Rice's statements, he knew that vampire men could in fact perform their manly duties. He himself had been born of a vampire father and mother. His father had gotten staked, but his mother was still around.

Meanwhile, Little Ghoul was finding it very entertaining how the other house monsters behaved towards Jo. The girl was admittedly very beautiful at twenty-one, and she actually had to throw Frankenbeans across the room for getting fresh. Yup, she still had her super strength. The only one missing out on everything was Fangula…

"Hmm…" Little Ghoul's red eyes brightened, and she set off in search of Flabber's phasm handbook. This was too good an opportunity to miss!


	2. Chapter 2

Stranger than Fiction

Chapter 2

"Now, let's see…" Little Ghoul mumbled, thumbing through the book. "Okay…I need two tokens, one from each of them. Ha! Step ahead of ya." she held up Jo's tube of lipstick in one hand, and Fangula's huge roll of dental floss in the other. "Hee hee…now, I just say the words, and…Okay."

She cleared her throat, held up the tokens, and said, " 'Forbidden fruit you'll long to taste, the heart goes where it will. You will let not a minute waste, this love you will fulfill. You will be bound by this magic spell, as if tied wrist to wrist. To be free you'll need no wedding bell, only to have a tryst!'" 

She did a double-take. "Uh-oh…this may just go farther than I meant it to go…" she grinned behind her shroud, and laughed. "I love it!"

***

Jo put a hand to her forehead, and frowned. Something was…well, she couldn't put her finger on it. It wasn't necessarily wrong, but…it was just _weird!_

"What's with her?" asked Roland, having noticed that she seemed a bit green.

"She got carsick on the way over." Drew explained.

"I'm okay. I think I'm just tired from the ride."

***

Fangula dropped his book, and grunted. The room made a violent tilt, and he closed his eyes as his normally half-still heart thudded in his chest. What was wrong with him?

He opened his eyes when he heard footsteps on the stairs. Well, everything seemed all right now. "Must have been a dizzy spell." He muttered.

"Yeah, I tell ya," came Mums's voice from the hallway, "she sure has changed!"

She? Was someone at Hillhurst? Ah, yes. The kids were visiting. He must've been talking about Jo. Well, he might as well go and have a look at her. He hadn't seen them in ten years, and there was something in Mums's voice that suggested something other than culinary interest…

***

Jo looked up at the sound of footsteps, as did the others, but she was the only one who was stricken by something strange. It was Fangula. She remembered him, and from the look on his face, he obviously remembered her. He had stopped short, and was staring at her in slack-jawed amazement. Her heart began to pound, and her mouth suddenly became a desert. For them, time seemed to have stopped. They stared at each other, unable to look away. His eyes lowered, taking in the rest of her, but when Flabber said, "Fangula, you remember Drew and Jo, right?" the vampire blinked, and spun on his heel, leaving the room. 

"What got into him?" asked Drew. Jo couldn't speak. She excused herself, and went out onto the porch. 

She leaned against the side of the house, and moaned quietly. "This can't be happening…"

***

Fangula shut his bedroom door, and leaned against it. _Not with a human…not with HER…_

His chest felt like it would explode. It just wasn't natural to fall in love with your food…your _food_ for Pete's sake! Someone must have done something…Flabber! But he…he just couldn't talk about it. It was too embarrassing. What if it wasn't Flabber? Besides, if it was only a spell, it should wear off…right?

***

Jo went back into the house, but she could no longer enjoy her visit. Her mind went back to the time when she had been 'the hider' in a game of phasm hide and seek, and she had opened a door to find Fangula in the bathtub, playing with his toy battleships. He hadn't seen her, (thank God!), but she had gotten a good view of his naked chest and arms…She remembered the time when Little Ghoul had stolen the pants right off his legs, and she had seen him in his vampire bat boxers. It had been funny at the time, but now she found herself wondering what else he wore under…

She almost slapped herself. She couldn't be in love with him! And she couldn't want to do…_that_…with him!

She was relieved when it was time to leave for the dorms. It was a coed dorm, and she and her brother would be staying across the hall from each other. She just had to get away from Hillhurst.


	3. Chapter 3

Stranger than Fiction

Chapter 3

Jo wished that her new roommate hadn't had a date that night. The last thing she wanted right now was to be alone. She couldn't bring herself to mention this to Drew, and he was out with Roland doing who knew what. How could she tell her brother that she thought she sorta…kinda…_might _be in love with Count Fangula, of all people! All right, forget sorta kinda! She wanted to…

"Ugh!" she shuddered. She went down to the lobby to get a soda. She wasn't thirsty, but she had to go for a walk, and it felt safer in the lobby.

***

Fangula felt horribly exposed, being out among humans. He was wearing what was, for him, strange attire; he wore jeans and sneakers, a black tee shirt, and a college sweatshirt jacket that was left open. He kept his ivory-white hands tucked in his pockets, and he wore sunglasses and had the hood of his jacket up. Someone said hello to him, but he ignored him, earning an obscene gesture in the process. He didn't care for any of them, he just wanted to talk to Jo. He knew how dangerous it was, given what he might do if he couldn't control himself, but he needed to see if this had affected her too. Though created by magic, as he suspected, this had to be real love, or else he wouldn't care what she went through. If it was as bad for her as it was for him…not that it was actually bad, but it was just…_Shut up!_

He knew which room she had, and he grinned at the fact that she had forgotten in her haste to lock the door. He simply let himself in, and hid in the bathroom so that she wouldn't see him and run out. He didn't have to wait long. The door opened, and he heard the sharp 'chhhhck' sound of a soda can being opened. He heard her take a drink, and shut the door.

"That's better." She said, sitting down on the bed. Fangula opened the door silently, and she didn't even know he was there until his shadow fell over her. She didn't scream. She only stood up and cracked her knuckles…the prelude to her using her super strength.

He held up his hands, and said, "I only want to talk, Jo."

"I'm not afraid of you, Fangula." She said coldly.

"I don't want you to be." He replied slowly.

She frowned in confusion. "Of course you do. You're a monster, monsters scare people."

He took off his sunglasses, and gestured at one of the chairs in the room. "May I sit down?"

"Not until you tell me why you're here." She told him, edging towards the phone. "Are you here to do what you've always tried to do? To drink my blood?"

"No." he said, becoming angry. "I told you, I just want to talk! Getting to the point, something happened to me today. I…" he shook his head, and turned away.

"What?" she demanded, not knowing why she wanted to know. When he didn't answer, she said, "Okay, you can sit down."

He stood there for a moment before sitting down, and rubbed his temples briefly. "Look, we've never actually…been friends, Jo…but…"

"Spit it out!" she snapped.

"I'm trying!" he snapped back. "I…I think someone cast a love spell on me! And…well, you're the one it made me love. I wanted to know if…if it happened to you, too."

Jo put her hand on the night stand to steady herself, accidentally knocking off the phone. "Well…that explains a lot." She said in a subdued voice.

"Then it did happen to you." he said.

"Don't know what else it could be. When you came into the room at Hillhurst…it was like getting hit by a truck."

"Then _I'm_ the one it made you love!" he said with a wide grin.

"What are you smiling at! This is terrible! We never liked each other, how can we be in love? What do I know about you? What do you know about _me?_ How can this be happening? How can I be sure you won't take my blood if things get out of control? Oh my God, what am I _saying!_" she was in tears now, pacing the room as he stared wide-eyed at her. "How can I think of doing _that_ with you?"

"I…" he stammered.

"You shut up! Let me think." She sat down on the bed, and put her head in her hands. He watched her silently for a few minutes before speaking up.

"What exactly…do you want to do with me? Do you mean you want to…to make love?" he asked quietly.

"You have to go." She told him.

"But…"

"Now!" she looked up, and then down again at his hurt expression.

"Jo…"

"Please." She whispered. "Please, just go. Give me some time to think."

He stood up, and slowly made his way to the door. When he reached it he hesitated, and said quietly. "I'm…sorry. I shouldn't have…"

"Fangula, please!"

"I'm going."


	4. Chapter 4

Stranger than Fiction

Chapter 4

It wasn't even a minute after Fangula left before the door was thrown open again, and Jo's roommate walked in. "Who was that?" she asked without so much as a howdy-do.

"Who was who?" asked Jo, not looking up.

"You _know_, that pale guy that just walked out of here, and nearly bowled me over. I thought you said you didn't have a boyfriend."

"I don't. How come you're back so early, Kate?" asked Jo.

"Don't change the subject," Kate said with a grin, sitting beside Jo on the bed, "if he wasn't your boyfriend, then who was he? Don't try to tell me he's your brother! I know _he's_ across the hall, and I've already seen him. This guy seemed kinda jerky to me, so why do you like him?"

_Bimbo…_Jo shook her head. "I said he's not my boyfriend, okay? He had to talk to me about something."

"Mm-hmm," Kate said with a knowing look. "Well, I won't press you. I'll find out sooner or later, anyway."

"Hmph…you didn't answer _my_ question. Why are you back so early?"

Kate wrinkled her nose, and headed for the bathroom. "He never showed up."

Jo shook her head. _I can't imagine why…_

***

_Do you mean you want to…to make love?_

Count Fangula hurried down the hallway so quickly that he didn't even know he had bumped into someone. All he knew was that he had to get away. He was even more confused now than he had been before he had visited Jo. For one thing, he actually felt bad for having made her uncomfortable. For another…and this was the most embarrassing part…he could do nothing to hide his growing erection from view. It was just the thought that she wanted intimacy with him…But she also _didn't_ want to do this act; this act of making love. And, in a way, neither did he. His body, as _well _as his heart, was betraying him. He had to get to a place where he could become a bat, and hopefully escape without being noticed.

He ducked into the men's room, and stopped short when he saw someone at one of the urinals. He looked away, embarrassed, as the man zipped up his pants. The guy turned around, and saw Fangula standing there behind him…sporting a pup tent at his midsection. He said something obscene, and Fangula, who felt that he had taken enough B. S. from these obnoxious humans, took off his shades, made his eyes glow like coals, and hissed loudly. The kid ran, and Fangula went to the sink and splashed some water on his face. Slowly his arousal faded, and he breathed a sigh of relief.

Well, now that someone had seen him for what he was, he figured he might as well just transform and get out. Even so, instead of doing that, he rested his palms on the edge of the sink and sighed. Maybe he _should_ talk to Flabber about this…

"Huh…" he snorted, shaking his head. He could just imagine what the phasm would say, too…

_"Hey Flabber, someone cast a love spell on me and Jo, and now I can't stop thinking about nookie!"_

"Are you kidding me?! Hah…haha…Hey Mums, Wolfie, Frankie, get in here! You'll never believe this!"

"Flabber, no!"

No. He knew Flabber wouldn't do that, but it would be awful just the same. So here he was, back where he started, and now Jo was crying in her dorm room. Or, at least, she was when he had left. Maybe he should make it up to her. If he couldn't find a way to break the spell, he would have to make things as smooth as possible. Wait…maybe that was it. Maybe he should try to break the spell. But then…then they would be back to normal, not liking each other at all. He didn't know if he could stand it. _Argh!_ He had to snap out of it! 

"Hey buddy, could you move over?" 

"What!" he jumped, and saw some kid with glasses and a pocket protector standing behind him. He must have been in one of the stalls the whole time.

"Um…I just…wanna wash my hands…" the kid stammered, having realized that Fangula was more than what he seemed to be. While his jaw was slack, his fangs were in plain view. But nothing happened. Fangula stepped to the side, and the kid cautiously approached the sink. When the kid looked up from his washing, he was alone in the bathroom. "Weird-lookin' guy…"


	5. Chapter 5

Stranger than Fiction

Chapter 5

"Zoom Comics," Drew sighed, taking a long swig of Pepsi. He and Roland had been driving all over Charterville, catching up on old times and taking in the changes that had come over the small town. In truth, not much had changed; a new Walmart here, a new restaurant there, but it was still essentially the same old Charterville. Now the two of them sat on stools near the cash registers, drinking sodas and thinking uncomfortably that something was missing. It wasn't the fact that Heather was no longer working in Zoom, nor was it the fact that Spawn had taken Beetleborgs Metallix's place as 'most popular comic.' It was Jo's absence that made the occasion more somber than it needed to be.

Jo hadn't wanted to come with them, saying that she felt sick from the ride to the dorms, but neither of them had bought her excuse. Roland wondered if maybe she had grown apart from him after having lived in another state for ten years, but Drew knew that this wasn't the case, and told him so when Roland brought it up. "All she would talk about for the past two weeks was seeing you and Flabber again. She's really missed you guys. She wouldn't miss out on this unless something was really bothering her."

"She _has_ been acting kind of weird today." Roland agreed, "You know…I think I can pinpoint just when it started."

"Yeah…me too. When Fangula walked into the room, right?"

"Mm-hmm. So, what's the deal? I mean, he didn't even _say _anything."

Drew tossed his empty soda can in the trash, and said, "_He _was acting pretty strange, too. Kinda like he was sizing up a potential meal…but if that were the case, he would have tried to do what he's always tried to do. You know…I don't think I like the way he was looking at her." he frowned, remembering how the vampire's gaze had lingered on his sister's breasts, _not_ her neck. An idea began to rear its disagreeable head, and he pushed it away, not wanting to consider it.

Roland raised an eyebrow, and asked, "Want to see what Flabber thinks about this whole thing?"

He had meant it as a joke, but when Drew said that he would, he didn't argue.

***

The two friends pulled up to Hillhurst in Drew's car just as Count Fangula arrived at the front door. 

"Hey Fang, wait a second!"

The vampire stopped and turned at the sound of Roland's voice. Ten years ago he wouldn't have bothered, but as Roland had gotten older the house monsters found that they could relate to him better. At twenty-three, he was more world wise and had sort of become their link to the human world. He had even taken them, heavily disguised, to a football game once. When Fangula had gotten drunk at the game and was violently ill in his car, he had simply passed the vampire a trash can and waved off his apologies, telling him that the car was 'just a piece of shit,' and he was planning on buying a new one anyway. 

Now the vampire waited to hear what Roland wanted, though he wasn't too happy about it after catching the look Drew was giving him. He suspected something!

"What do you want?" Fang asked, more shakily than he had intended.

Drew answered before Roland could open his mouth. "We came to see Flabber, but it concerns you too."

Fangula turned and opened the door, heading for the stairs. This was a conversation he didn't want to have.

"Wait," Drew called, following him, "Where are you going?"

The vampire rounded on him, growling, "I'm _going_ to 'the little bat's room,' nosy!" With that, he changed into a bat and was soon out of sight, leaving the two of them behind.

"Mmmmmm-kaaaaaay…" Roland drawled, leaning against the banister.

"Guys!" Flabber held out his hands in welcome, having appeared from out of nowhere. "You're back! Couldn't get enough of me, huh?" with that he burst like a balloon, filling the room with hundreds of tiny copies of himself, and laughing maniacally. Then the Flabber clones coalesced back into the original, who pointed at Drew and laughed again. "Bah-hah-hah-haaaaa!"

"Flabber…"

"Okay, okay! Somethin' wrong?"

***

Flabber listened to what Drew and Roland had to say about Jo with relative calmness, until they got to the part where Fangula walked into the room and both of them started acting funny. "Wait, so you're saying that you think there's something going on between _Jo_ and _Count Fangula?_" the phasm asked, incredulity dripping from every word.

"Well, you saw how they looked at each other." Drew said lamely.

"I don't think you have to worry about _that_," Flabber said slowly, "but if you want, I'll go talk to him."

Drew visibly relaxed. "Thanks, Flabber. I'll go and talk to Jo." 

Flabber saw them to the door, and headed upstairs to find Fangula. He knocked on the vampire's door, but when he received no answer he pushed the sliding door open with one hand and walked in.

Fangula was gone.

***

"Well hello, tall, blond, and handsome." Jo's room mate smirked at Drew, blocking his view of their room with her body.

"Um, hi Kate. Is…is Jo around?" 

"Nope, just me. You wanna come in?"

"No thanks, do you know where she went?" Drew said quickly. Kate had obviously been drinking, and he wanted to get away from her before she put him in a difficult situation.

"Nah, she's prob'ly sulking 'cause her boyfriend stormed outta here an hour ago. Are you sure you don't…"

"Did you say 'boyfriend?'" Drew asked, hackles raising. Jo didn't have a boyfriend.

"Yeah, tall pale guy, rude as hell. Why, you know him?" she asked.

"Maybe. I gotta go. See ya later." He mentally kicked himself; he didn't _want_ to see _her_ later!

"M-kay, bye." She mumbled, shutting the door in his face.

Drew turned and hurried down the corridor. What was Fangula doing visiting his sister's room? And what had he wanted? Drew wasn't worried about her safety; after all, she was a Beetleborg; but he didn't understand what was going on. One thing, though, was sure; he was going to find out!


	6. Chapter 6

Stranger than Fiction

Chapter 6

"Sing me no songs of daylight,

For the sun is the enemy of lovers

Sing instead of the shadows and darkness,

And memories of midnight"

—Sappho

The playground wasn't very large; it encompassed only one scant acre of the Charterville park, and consisted of a rickety swing set, a slide, a jungle gym, and a sand box that had been monopolized by the Charterville cats. Jo remembered it well, though it had been in a much nicer state way back when. Now, as she seated herself on one of the swings, she grimaced as her hand came away speckled with rust. Then, with a shrug, she grasped the chains again and kicked outward to get herself swinging. She wasn't bothered by the screeching noise the chains made, and this was much more agreeable than sitting in her dorm room and listening to Kate's drunken complaining over her rotten luck, and about the nuclear hangover she would be getting because of 'what's his name.' Like he actually forced all that beer down her throat! Kate wasn't really a bad sort, but she just had this annoying, pushy way about her that set Jo's hair on end.

Jo dragged her feet to make herself stop, and she yawned. What time was it?

Although she didn't know it, she had been under observation for some time. Fangula had dodged Drew at Hillhurst, had bypassed his bedroom door, and had escaped in bat form through a bathroom window. He had no desire to face Drew's ire, or Flabber's incessant prying. He had only intended to go for a walk in the park to clear his head, maybe snag a meal in some unlucky passerby, yet here he found himself, spying on Jo from a clump of bushes like some highwayman. His dignity flared up, but he pushed it aside, reminding himself that this was completely accidental. He didn't know exactly how long he had been there, but he _did_ plan on going over and talking to her. Why shouldn't he? If he left now she would hear him, and that might cause her some fear. Who wants to hear strange sounds in the park at night? Besides, maybe this was supposed to happen. Maybe they were supposed to meet here. Maybe it was…Fate? _Nah!_ He almost laughed.

When Jo yawned and looked at her watch, he stood up and approached her. She looked up and saw him coming, but she didn't say anything. He sat down on the swing beside her, and put on what he hoped was a rather blasé expression, which she instantly saw through.

"Nice try," she said, "It's not just hard on me, is it?"

"No." he sighed, dropping his pretense at nonchalance. "You'd think that I, after having lived for over three hundred years, would be able to put this aside."

"Put it aside?" Jo snorted, squinting at him in the bad light. She saw that he hadn't meant it the way it sounded, and she let it drop.

"But it's not easily _put_ aside." He finished for her. 

She nodded, and buried her face in her hands with a weary sigh, her fingers poking delicately through her bangs. "What can we do about this?"

"Well…" he trailed off with a slight smile, and she looked up and then away when she caught the hint of a suggestion in his voice.

"Okay, first stop thinking with your gonads and be serious for a minute! Second, what _are_ we going to do?"

He was taken aback by her choice of words, but he quickly remembered that she was an adult now. _Now_ she looked a lot like the actress who had played Irene in that Jim Carrey movie…what was it? "Me, Myself, and Irene." That was it. She wasn't that same, toothy little girl who would regularly visit Hillhurst and make a general pest of herself. Not that they didn't pester _her_ on occasion.

"I don't know." he mumbled, pushing off and swinging slowly. 

She watched him for a moment, and snickered. He stopped, and gave her a questioning look.

"Nothing, just…vampire on…on a swing!" she giggled.

"What's wrong with that?" he asked, all injured dignity.

"Nothing, I just never really thought you did things like that." 

"Huh…In that case, I never imagined you'd turn out like…like _this._" He waved his hand vaguely.

"Like what?" she demanded.

"Well…you know, um…" he mumbled something.

"What?" she asked.

"Beautiful."

She swallowed carefully. He was serious. "You think I'm beautiful?" she asked.

He looked away and gave a barely perceptible nod.

"You sure it's not just the spell?" she pressed.

He shrugged. "I'm a male, and I have eyes. All magic aside, yes, I think you're beautiful. Why, don't you?"

"Well…" she spread her hands, and sighed. "You remember Josh Baldwin?" she saw him nod, and continued. "I…I, um, tried to get his attention a while back, before we moved. To make a long story short, he just wanted to be friends."

Fangula snorted. "He was fifteen, you were ten! As you get older, you find that an age difference of five years doesn't matter much. If he saw you now, he too would find you desirable."

"He's married." She mumbled, "I guess, after that, I lost my confidence when it came to boys. So, here I am, twenty-one years old and in love with a vampire."

"You make it sound like it's a _bad_ thing!" he told her.

"You think it's good for _you _to love a_ human?_ Doesn't that offend some sort of standard or something?"

"Not for me, not anymore." he said levelly, "If you want to know the truth, it's forbidden for a vampire to love a human and to let them _stay_ human. But I won't try to turn you into one of us. Magic spell or no, I love you. And so, we're back to square one."

Hoping to change the subject, Jo asked, "So, um…what do your parents do?"

"My parents?" he asked.

"Yeah. I mean, do vampires have jobs, or…" she bit her lip. "Never mind."

"Sure, we have jobs. They're just…not what humans think of as jobs. For one, there's the propagation of our species, which is always being hunted; my father died at the hands of a Nussbaum."

Jo winced, remembering that she had been friends at one point with that person's descendant, Norman Nussbaum. That was probably why Fangula had been so afraid of the kid. "I'm sorry."

He waved his hand, and continued, "We hunt them, so I suppose it's fair enough. Besides, we weren't that close. My mother you've met; the Countess Rosamund."

"Yeah, I remember her. She…actually seemed kinda nice."

"She is. She actually has a bit of a soft spot for children, which is why she never hunts them. But you're not a child anymore." His words hung in the air like a cloud, their hidden meaning evident.

Jo got up and began to walk away. Fangula though she meant to leave him, but after a few steps she turned and held out her hand. He hesitated a moment, then rose and took her smooth, tanned hand in his gloved hand. Fangula had hidden a change of clothes on the roof of her new school, so he had changed before arriving at Hillhurst. Now he was in his usual vampire raiment, and he marveled at how she could just offer him her hand without fear. His heart was beating fast again, and his sharp ears caught the sound of her heart as well; it beat out a rapid tattoo of nervousness and excitement, like that of a frightened rabbit. Her heart was pumping furiously, sending the blood out to her muscles; her body's response for if she needed to run. How the blood sang in her veins…the blood…

He gritted his teeth, and dropped her hand. Putting his hands to his head, he stood in an agony of indecision; wanting to satisfy his very nature, but not wanting to cause her any harm. Love, bloodlust, and lust of another sort were at war within his body, and he was almost afraid that he would be split into three pieces of himself to be strewn about the park.

"What's wrong?" she asked, timidly touching his shoulders. 

"Nothing, I…I'm sorry, but I can't be this close to you without wanting to bite you, or to…"

She heard him sniffle, and she was shocked to see that he was crying a little bit in his frustration. She considered for a moment. Then, greatly daring, she gently took his hands down from his face and asked, "Instead of biting…will this do?" And she slowly brought her face up to his and their lips met. 

She was not an experienced kisser; it was no simple peck on the mouth, but it was short and chaste…it was the sweetest kiss he'd ever had.


	7. Chapter 7

Stranger than Fiction

Author's note: To those of you who've been following this story, I'm sorry it's taken me so long to get this up. I have a new job, and up till now what little free time I've had has been spent sleeping, due to the weird schedule they've got me on.

I had just finished with chapter six of this story when I rented Beetleborgs Metallix and learned that after Vexor was defeated, the beetleborgs would lose their powers. That was something I didn't know about when I had started this story, so lets just assume that Flabber let them keep their powers this time around, kay? ^_^ By the way, this chapter is a little bit racy, so read at your own risk. I'm not trying to offend anyone, and even though there isn't sex in it, there almost is, so please forgive me. This website's really been cracking down on risqué material, so I'm keeping my fingers crossed. Believe me, I'm trying to be as tasteful as possible with such a sensitive subject, meaning no dirty slang, or graphic images, and few curse words. If you're easily offended, just skip this chapter and read the next one when it's posted. Please don't complain about it or report me, since I don't think it's very explicit and doesn't need reporting, and since I've given you fair warning. This story is rated R for a reason. Well, now that I'm finished my little bout of booty kissing, I guess that's about it. You've been warned! ;P

Chapter 7

Jo reluctantly broke the kiss, and scrubbed the tears from Fangula's cheeks with her thumbs. She lowered her eyes, and crossed her arms self-consciously over her breasts. Why had she done that?

"Jo?" Fang asked in a trembling voice.

"I'm sorry, I…"

"No." he said firmly, lifting her chin with his finger. "Don't be sorry, Jo. It was…the most wonderful thing I've ever experienced."

She shivered at that last whispered phrase, and as if they were crafted of magnet instead of flesh, their lips met again. The vampire growled softly, pulling her close as the kiss deepened, and parting her soft pink lips with his tongue. Jo felt something beginning to poke into her at waist level, and she blushed when she realized what it was. Instead of pushing him away, she grasped his buttocks and kissed him even more fervently. She wanted…_needed…_

How she ended up with her back against a tree she never figured out, but there she was, with the iron hardness of his sex pressing urgently against her lower abdomen. His hips gave an involuntary buck as her hands tightened their grip. She uttered a strange, catlike growl and pressed hard on his groin with her own, grinding herself against him. He felt the first real twinges of sexual pleasure, and he knew that soon it was going to be too late to walk away from this. She reached for his belt, and he grabbed her hands and shook his head no. "Jo!" he gasped, propping his chin on her shoulder and ignoring the roughness of tree bark on his forehead. "If we're going to stop, it has to be now!"

"Do…do you want to stop?" she asked, equally breathless.

"You know I don't," he told her, nuzzling her neck and resisting his urge to bite, "but…"

"What?" she asked.

"If we do this, you might conceive." He told her, trying to reason with her and himself.

"I don't…" she began, but she did care. 

"We're not ourselves." He said as firmly as he could.

She sidestepped, and he was left leaning against the tree. It wasn't just the sex he wanted; he wanted _her!_ He wanted her more than anything, wanted to have her as his wife, and he knew that he couldn't have her. Supposing he did give in, and she did conceive a child. A half-breed, vampire/human child that didn't belong anywhere. He knew stories that she didn't, stories that always ended in death or heartbreak. And she would blame him for it. 

"Fang, what is it?" she asked. She had called him Fang, not Fangula.

"We can't." he whispered.

"What?" 

"We can't!" he told her. "It's a spell, remember? Have you forgotten that if it's broken we'll have to live with everything we do right now?"

She sighed, and shook her head. "I…I almost did…forget. But I…damn it!" she kicked a stone, and he jumped at the sound and turned to look at her. She had her hands up, covering her face. Was she? Yes, she was crying. Almost silently, with the occasional chuff of a sob as she drew breath. He felt his heart being squeezed in his chest, and against his better judgment he took her in his arms.

"What…what did we almost do!" she sobbed, enjoying his embrace more than she should have. Instead of answering her, he focused his attentions on moving his hand up and down, stroking her back. He still wanted sex, as undoubtedly she did too, but the shame of his unnatural desire was enough to curb it. He would not get so close to giving in again. "Oh, God!" she cried, "What did we almost do!"

"Shhh," he kissed her head, "It's not your fault, my lo…Jo. It's not our fault. Whoever did this will regret it, I'll see to that." He held her until she had calmed down some, feeling ashamed of himself for letting it get this far. He had hurt her by pushing her away, but they both knew that he had just saved them from themselves.

"_We_ will. We'll _both_ make them pay." She sniffled, and looked up at him. "You know…I think I've never seen you before."

"Hmm?" he frowned in confusion.

"I knew, when I was a kid, that you had your good moments, but…You know, I think that even without the spell, I could have loved you."

"Jo?" he shook his head, not comprehending. 

"Vampire or not, and I don't mean that in a bad way, you're a good person. I remember times when you were nice and didn't have to be. And what you did just now, stopping us from making what might have been a terrible mistake. I wouldn't have been able to."

He cleared his throat. "Well, I…You said so yourself, you're inexperienced. When you are, sometimes it _is_ hard to stop, or to even know when to stop. If…if you don't mind…have you…"

She smiled. "No, I haven't." she stopped herself from saying 'yet.' "Have you?" she asked.

He snorted. "I was married once, Jo. Of course I have, though it wasn't by choice." He added quickly, seeing the hurt blossoming on her face like a bruise, "It was an arranged marriage that ended shortly after it began when my wife was staked."

"By you?" Jo asked.

"Of course not! It was another Nussbaum incident. I had…relations…with her because it was expected. It's as simple as that."

"You didn't love her?" Jo asked, feeling the slightest bit bitchy for being glad of it.

"I didn't even like her. She was a spoiled rich woman who always got what she wanted. She didn't like me either, but I was her piece of…her husband." He corrected himself, and actually colored a bit in his embarrassment. "I know it's a terrible thing to say, but there it is. I don't blame you if you think I'm a jerk for saying it. Sometimes _I_ think so."

"Why?" she asked, though she didn't agree with the way he spoke of his dead wife.

"Well, a man ought to love his wife, don't you think?" 

"Yes." She nodded, "But if you didn't want to marry her in the first place, how could you be expected to? If she was killed so quickly after you married her, you didn't even have the time to _get_ to love her."

"No…though, it would have taken a looong time!" he smirked weakly.

"Was she really that bad?"

"She slapped my face on a regular basis." He replied. Without knowing why, Jo reached up to caress that face, and he closed his eyes and breathed deep. Her scent was intoxicating. He felt himself stirring again, and he mentally willed it to go down, but it seemed to have a mind of its own. "Jo…" he warned, but she only had to look into his eyes and he was a goner. He found himself kissing her again, and before he could stop her, she brushed his most sensitive place with the back of her hand. "Nng!" he groaned, his eyes glowing like fire. He nuzzled her neck again, and he couldn't stop himself this time. "Mine." He growled softly, sinking the tips of his fangs into her neck. It was not a deep, feeding bite; those were always aimed at a major artery. He had merely marked her. Marked her as his own. His mate. His wife to be. He found that he no longer cared…until she whimpered quietly.

"Ow…Fang, you…promised…"

He had promised, but it was too late. The bite wouldn't turn her into a vampire, but she would be linked to him forever. She fainted in his arms, and he lowered her to the ground, frantically trying to wake her.

"Jo? Jo! What have I done? Jo! Josephine! Jooooooo!"

That was how Drew found them, her out cold, and him sobbing in panic and shame as he tried to bring her around.

Drew shoved the vampire back so that he fell in a heap, and knelt beside his sister. "Jo!" he shook her, and her head lolled to one side. Then he saw the marks. Two tiny puncture wounds that bled very little but were none the less noticeable. His eyes widened, and he checked her for a pulse, sighing in relief when he found it to be not only present, but strong. 

Fangula, meanwhile, had gotten to his feet and was trying to stifle his sobs with his hand. Through his haze of tears he was able to see a vague watery shape rushing at him a second before a fist connected with his gut. 

"You son of a bitch, you bastard! You…" blow after blow landed as the vampire tumbled to the ground, hardly making an effort to protect himself.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" he sobbed incoherently, curling into a ball and tucking his head in.

"Not as sorry as you'll be when I'm through, you fucker!" Drew snarled, wishing that he had his sister's super strength a he delivered blow after blow. 

"Stop it!" shouted a feminine voice, and the next thing Drew knew he was rolling in the dirt with the breath knocked out of him. "Fang! You okay? You all right?"

Jo put her arms around Fangula, and he gratefully sat up and returned the embrace. He wept bitterly, keeping his hand over his mouth as if to keep himself from biting her again.

"It's okay, don't cry…" she cooed, rocking him. This wasn't because Drew had just beaten the tar out of him; this was because he had bitten her. They were only little wounds, but he had broken his promise in making them; not only that, but a vampire's mark meant no straying. If the spell was ever broken, she would still be bound to him whether or not she wanted to be. He had, in essence, committed the vile sin of rape.

Drew couldn't believe what he was seeing. "Jo, what are you _doing?_ The bastard _bit_ you!"

Jo curbed her anger. Drew had only tried to protect her, and he didn't know what was going on. She couldn't blame him for attacking Fangula. "It's not his fault, Drew. Someone cast a love spell on us. He couldn't help it, and if it's anyone's fault it's mine. I let him get close to me, and…I guess I didn't do much to stop him. In fact, if it weren't for him, things really could have gotten out of hand. Please, don't blame him. It's not his fault."

"But…but…" Drew searched for the words, but they wouldn't come, and he found himself beginning to feel like a heel. Fangula really _was_ upset over what he had done, and since meeting Flabber and seeing what the phasm could do, Drew found that it wasn't hard to believe in love spells. But Flabber wouldn't do that…would he?

Fangula was still crying. Those tears _had_ to be real. Jo couldn't make him stop; in fact, it had only gotten worse when she had embraced him. He kept insisting that it _was_ his fault, that she didn't know what it meant, and that he never should have come. Drew approached them, and put a hand on his shoulder. "No!" the vampire cried, leaning away from the other man's hand.

"Easy, I'm not gonna hit you again. Calm down. If my sister says it isn't your fault, then I believe her." Fangula stared at him in disbelief, and Jo smiled. "Now quit crying, it won't help. Suck it up, and let's go see Flabber. He'll know what to do about this." Drew's voice was firm and commanding, and Fangula was shocked into silence. The vampire allowed Drew to help him to his feet.

"I'm sorry." he said again.

Drew nodded, and replied, "I'm sorry too."


	8. Chapter 8

Stranger than Fiction

Chapter 8

The ride to Hillhurst was passed in silence. Jo sat in the back seat behind Drew, who was driving the car. Count Fangula sat in the front passenger seat, and the fact that he was being kept separate from Jo, _and_ that he was in the front seat instead of the back wasn't lost on him. Even so, Drew didn't have to worry about the vampire biting his sister again; he felt terrible for having done it. Indeed, every few moments his breath would hitch as he sat hunched over beneath the seat belt, and he would turn his head at regular intervals so that neither Drew nor Jo would see the cold tears that meandered their way down to his chin and dripped onto his starched collar. 

Drew made no move to comfort him; he was still angry, and with good reason. It wasn't that he truly blamed the vampire, but this was his sister whom he had bitten. While he was sorry for having attacked him, he still couldn't excuse him completely.

Jo, for her part, was sitting with her eyes closed, fingering the tiny wounds on her neck. The wounds didn't hurt, but they itched a little bit and they stung when she touched them; and yet, she couldn't help doing so. It was so strange; every time Fangula's breath caught in a little half-sob, the wounds would throb in time with the sound. She felt an overwhelming urge to reach out and touch him, to try and comfort him somehow, but she didn't, knowing that contact with her would only make it worse for him. 

When they arrived at Hillhurst, it was almost one in the morning. They headed for the door in single file, Fangula in front and Jo in back, with Drew in the middle. Fangula swiped at his eyes once more, and went inside.

"Flabber?" called Drew, scanning the foyer for any sign of the phasm.

"In here, guys." Called a voice from the parlor. They filed into the room, stopping short at the sight of Little Ghoul being suspended in mid-air beside Flabber, who was thumbing through his Phasm Handbook.

"Flabber…" Fangula asked uncertainly, narrowing his eyes at Little Ghoul in sudden suspicion. "What's going on?"

Little Ghoul's glowing eyes blinked as she waved her lizard-like hands frantically. "It wasn't me, I swear! I been framed! Whatever Flabber says, I didn't do it!"

Flabber, looking angrier than they'd ever seen him, waved his hand and Little Ghoul's mouth was rendered numb. "That's enough out of you." he told her, closing the book and getting to his feet. "I'm so sorry, you guys. I thought I'd hidden the handbook well enough, but she found it anyway."

Jo moved to stand by Fangula, but her brother had accidentally-on-purpose positioned himself between them. "So you _do_ know what happened." She said.

Flabber nodded, but Drew shook his head. The phasm's face fell. "Oh no, what _else_ happened?"

"I…" Fangula began, but he couldn't bring himself to say it.

"He bit Jo." 

"Drew…" Jo began reproachfully.

"Fang…" Flabber said, at the exact same moment. The vampire turned away and folded his arms, looking for all the world like a whipped child. It wasn't until he spoke that they realized that he was crying.

"I didn't mean to…" he gave a single, hiccuping sob, and covered his face with his hand. His shoulders trembled violently, and Jo elbowed her brother out of the way.

"Fang," she began, but he wouldn't let her hold him this time.

"No, I told you before…you don't know…what it means. I…You're b-bound to me. I did the worst…possible thing…It's ev-everything _but_ okay!"

A moment later, Flabber was gently interceding himself between Jo and Count Fangula. "Here, let me…" he told her, leading Fangula into another room to get the story from him and to give him time to compose himself. Little Ghoul, for her part, was left hanging. Jo spared her one quizzical glance, and sat down on one of the dusty sofas. Drew sat beside her, and she permitted this.

"So…" Drew began, leaving the word dangling in the air in the hopes that she would take the bait.

"So." She sighed, effectively batting aside the verbal tidbit. In truth, she didn't know exactly what he wanted to ask her.

"Okay, I'll start." He slapped his thighs, and got to his feet. "You've never kept anything from me, not even when you knew I wouldn't like it. I always thought we could talk about anything. Why didn't you tell me, Jo?"

"Drew, please. I really don't know why I didn't tell you. I guess I…I've never loved anyone like I…like I love him, and it's…" she shook her head. "It's scaring me to death, Drew. I knew how you'd react…"

"No, you didn't know. The only reason I reacted like I did was because I thought he'd attacked you. I didn't know what was going on, and when I saw you lying there with him standing over you I just lost it. And when I saw the bite mark, all I could think of was how I could make him pay."

"Drew, he was crying!" she told him.

"Ever heard of crocodile tears?"

"They weren't—"

"I know." he sighed, sitting back down. "I know that _now_, but I didn't at the time. He's tried similar things to save his ass in the past, so I just assumed…" he sighed again. "Look, if it makes you feel any better, I don't blame him for what he did. He's a vampire, and biting is what they do. What I'm getting at, though, is that if you had just come to me this could have all been avoided. If you couldn't come to me, there's Flabber."

"Drew…" Jo swallowed. "I just couldn't, don't you understand?"

He didn't. "Yeah."

The silence that stretched between them was broken only by the muffled voices that came from the other room. While Fangula was away from the sources of his distress he was a lot calmer, and while they couldn't hear what was being said, the could at least hear that his voice was level if not calm. Once they heard him yell, "She did what?!" but he was quickly silenced by Flabber, who continued to speak to him in a low voice.

"So, you really love him, huh?" Drew asked his sister.

"Yes." She whispered, wiping her eyes on her sleeve. Drew put his arm around her, and she rested her cheek on his shoulder.

"And how did he get close enough to bite you?" he asked.

"I…I kissed him, and then…well, you know…"

"Ah, jeez!" he muttered. He should have known better than to ask. The last thing he wanted to know about was his sister's sex life!

"Thanks a lot." 

"Hey, I'm sorry. I only meant…well, never mind. Hey, they're coming back."

Fangula stepped into the room, his eyes glowing furiously. He bared his teeth as he stared balefully at Little Ghoul. The air rushed past his fangs in a hiss, and then a firm, blue hand clamped down on his shoulder. Flabber forced him down into a chair, and Little Ghoul whimpered fearfully.

"What is it?" Jo asked Fangula, alarmed by his sudden and vicious anger.

"Flabber has revealed our culprit!" The vampire bit out savagely. "Little Ghoul's the one who cast the love spell. Oh, and guess what? She got something wrong, and now…" He looked away, too angry to speak.

Flabber, laying a hand on Fangula's shoulder, said, "It's irreversible."

"What?" Drew asked, paling.

The phasm sighed, and began. "A Phasm Handbook is a very dangerous, volatile thing when it's being used by someone who isn't a phasm. Even for us, not all spells work like we think they will. The thing is, the words are mostly arranged so that they can rhyme. Love spells just won't work unless the possibility for real love is there, so all Little Ghoul did was bring about a possibility. The spell was just a catalyst; your love is real…and also, it's natural, since it wasn't created by the actual spell. Natural love can't be obliterated, so a counter spell is out of the question. I'm sorry." And he was. He reflected that he had never spoken more seriously about anything, and he couldn't even think of a simple jest to liven up the mood. And truly, such a thing would be inappropriate.

Drew was rendered speechless. Between the rage he felt towards Little Ghoul and the unfairness of his sister's plight, he found that he simply couldn't find his voice.

Fangula was the one who broke the silence. "It's not that loving you disgusts me, Jo…far from it, but I just hate being toyed with. This is one game that shrouded bitch has taken too far."

"Fangula!" Flabber chided.

"Well, I'm sorry!" the vampire snapped. "But don't you see the problem this presents? If I don't turn Jo into a vampire like me, I'll outlive her; if I do transform her, she'll lose all that she is, and what she has with her brother! And what about children? Those wouldn't even be a possibility!"

Drew sighed, and asked, "Well, what do _you_ want to do, Jo?"

"Me?" she sat up straight; she had been sitting with her head in her hands.

"Yeah. What's done is done, and what you do now is up to you."

Jo almost smiled, but it just wasn't in her at the moment. "I…I don't know what I want to do." Then it occurred to her to ask, "What about Little Ghoul? What are we going to do about her?"

"Why don't you let _me_ handle her, Flabber?" asked Fangula, his voice low and trembling with the force of his anger. 

The phasm shook his head, and said, "Oh, don't you worry. I've got something very special in mind for her. Oh, Little Ghoul? How would you like to be human for a week?"


	9. Chapter 9

Stranger than Fiction

Chapter 9

Several days passed before Jo and Count Fangula saw each other again. Jo was finding it almost impossible to concentrate on her classes, and the nights were torture. She could find no release with someone sleeping in the next bed, so she spent those nights tossing and turning. Her dreams were filled with feverish images of Fangula, who would make love to her while partaking of her blood, and she would wake up to find her sheets drenched with sweat. 

The bite mark on her neck now looked more like a hickey than anything else, and when she awakened from those dreams the bite throbbed fiercely. She wore a satin choker around her neck during the day to hide it, so no one gave her neck any undue attention.

Fangula wasn't doing much better. Now, of course, the other monsters knew all about what had happened, and Frankenbeans was the only one to not make a joke out of it, mostly because of his limited mental capacity. His one comfort was that Little Ghoul, now in the form of a petite, if somewhat plain, human woman, was never given a moment's peace. The monsters, himself included, gave no quarter, and she was running out of places to hide from them. Her punishment was, in fact, more severe than it had sounded the night Flabber had suggested it.

In the meantime, Fang was running out of excuses to avoid Jo. Mostly he wished to protect her virtue, though he very much wanted to spend at least one night with her. In his mind's eye, he could picture himself removing her clothing, one piece at a time. He imagined what she must look like without any clothes on; not too skinny, but slender and well muscled, her nude body as exquisitely proportioned as her clothed one. He imagined himself exploring her body, and inviting her to explore his. The only naked woman he had seen in person had been his wife, and he had had no real desire to see _her_ body. At first he had been mildly interested, but the shrewish vampire woman had spoiled the experience for him by comparing her own body to that of a goddess, and making disparaging remarks about _his_ body. He felt that he was not…unfortunately endowed, and his wife had truly been no prize herself. And did she ever really give him a chance to try and please her? No. She had made him so nervous that his one wish at the time was to get it over with. He knew that with Jo it would be different. At least…he _thought_ he knew. At least she wouldn't compare his penis to a twig…

He couldn't stay away anymore. He just had to see her. But what would they do? He couldn't just drop by for a booty call…and if she didn't want to make love, then they wouldn't do it, simple as that. But what _could_ they do? Then he got an idea. He left Hillhurst, and headed into town.

***

Jo entered her dorm room, and closed the door with a sigh. She was exhausted. And, she thanked the powers that be, she was alone for once. Kate had a date, and he had actually shown up. She would be gone most, if not all, of the night. She collapsed on her bed, and groaned. Almost immediately, there was a knock at the door. Cursing quietly, she got up and peered through the peephole. Her heart leapt; it was Fangula. She immediately opened the door to let him in, and saw that he carried a bag from one of the two Outback steak houses in Charterville. He also clutched a fake black rose in his fist, the stem crafted of green plastic, and the petals made from black feathers that formed a tight bud, and looked quite convincing. His hand was visibly shaking, and he gave her what he hoped was a dashing smile, but was in reality a pleading half-grin. "Um, hi…I was…um…in the neighborhood, and well, uh…"

"Come on in." she said, rescuing him. She shut the door behind him, and he handed her the flower. 

"This is for you." he mumbled, not daring to look her in the eye. Why was he so nervous all of a sudden?

"Thank you." she smiled, placing it on her night stand. "What's in the bag?"

"Oh! Um, well…I thought you might…be hungry, so I…Look, Jo, I'm really bad at this. I just had to see you again…I'm sorry if I…" He stammered, and Jo cut him off with a gentle kiss on the mouth.

"It's okay, really. I'm glad you came. I've…well, I missed you. I still don't know what to do about all this, but…but I can't change how I feel."

He smiled gratefully, and began rifling through the bag. "Coconut shrimp…love those things…two steaks, one very rare and one medium-well…I didn't want any sides, but I had to make a guess at yours. Is a baked potato okay?"

"Fine. It's just what I would have picked. You didn't have to go to the trouble, though."

He shrugged, and waved it off as if to say 'no trouble at all.' Jo went and got two plates, two knives, and two forks, and they sat and ate on her bed. Jo noticed that Fangula's steak was barely seared on the outside, and the juices ran red. He was essentially eating raw meat. The thought of it didn't disgust her as much as it should have, and she enjoyed her own meal immensely. They shared the coconut shrimp, having three each, and when they were finished eating he helped her clean up. She washed, and he dried.

After she stacked the clean plates back in the cabinet, Jo removed her choker and absent-mindedly rubbed her neck. Fangula turned at the sound of her sigh, and his heart gave a painful lurch, causing him to make a small, pained sound. Jo looked over, and saw him staring at her; terrible guilt marred his white face, and she wouldn't have been surprised if the marble surface were to shatter and fall like so much glass. Without a word, he reached out and gently pulled her hand from her neck. The bite looked worse than it really was. He touched it softly with one gloved hand, and shook his head slowly from side to side. "I did this…I hurt you…"

"It doesn't hurt." She told him. He took off his glove, and touched the tiny scabs with the pads of his fingers. The flesh was firm, and there was no sign of infection. Still…

"How could I do this?" he whispered, eyes filling with tears. "I love you more than words can say, and I _bit_ you."

Jo seized his face between her hands. "That's enough, Fangula. I already told you, I'm not mad. I know that the bite binds me to you, but didn't the spell do that anyway? If the spell's irreversible, it doesn't matter _what_ the bite means. Stop beating yourself up over one little mistake made in the heat of passion. If I hadn't thrown myself at you, you wouldn't have bitten me, but I don't regret doing it. I'd do it again, too."

She released him, and they both suddenly became fascinated by their own feet. Then, Fangula looked to his right, and said, "Um, Jo? I think you're sink's clogged."

"Huh?" she turned, and sure enough, the water had stopped draining at the half-way point. Fangula grabbed a wooden spoon, and began poking at the drain. Jo began to ask him what he was doing, when a sudden gout of soapy water and food particles shot from the drain, drenching them both. She shrieked in surprise, and the water drained from the sink completely.

"Oh, man!" Fang looked down at himself, then at Jo. The hilarity of their situation struck them simultaneously, and they both began to laugh. "How…how did that happen?" he gasped.

"Who knows?" she shrugged, flipping water from her fingers into the sink. "The building's old. Man, I've got steak bits in my hair."

"Sorry." he apologized, still laughing.

"Well, I'm going to get a shower." She announced. Then she asked, "What about you?"

He sobered up immediately "Now?"

"Well, yeah. I've got steak in my hair, and you've got sour cream in yours. Here," she tossed him a dish towel, and headed for the dresser she shared with Kate, pulling out a clean outfit. "I'll go first, then you can go, okay?"

He nodded, drying his face on the towel, and a few moments later he was suddenly more nervous than he had ever been. Jo was in the next room, naked and bathing, and at the sound of running water he realized that he suddenly had to pee! Quite badly, in fact. He glanced around the room, as if he might find some help there, and pondered. He couldn't use the sink; that was out of the question. He couldn't use the bathroom while Jo was in there; she might get the wrong idea. In suggesting that they shower, she had specifically stated that it would be done separately. He also had an idea of what he might do if the opportunity to see her naked presented itself. But he just couldn't wait! 

It didn't occur to him to knock on the door and ask to use the facilities. Instead of doing that, he opened the door as quietly as possible and tip-toed over to the toilet. Practically dancing with the urgency of his need he hastily lifted the lid, and…

Jo was alerted by the sound of running water coming not from the shower head above her, but from the general area of the toilet. Although she knew what the sound was, she risked a peek and pulled aside a tiny section of the shower curtain. She was presented with the sight of Fangula's back as he relieved himself, and whether fortunately or unfortunately, she misjudged the sharpness of his hearing. His posture grew stiff, and he turned his head and caught her in the act just as he was caught. She quickly withdrew, but it was too late.

"I'm sorry…" he said quickly, still urinating, "I heard the water running, and I just couldn't wait. I really couldn't wait. I'm sorry."

"Oh…that's okay." She said, blushing furiously, though not out of embarrassment. The idea of him being so close to her while she was naked triggered something deep within her, something enormous and frightening, but enticing as well. She wanted to see him. Naked. And to have him see her. And why not? They were both adults, and it seemed that they were in this situation for a reason. Besides, they didn't have to actually _do_ anything. She just wanted to see him and be near him. And so it was with a clear conscience that she asked him, "Would you like to come in?"

He whipped around, spraying the toilet paper, and quickly correcting his aim with a silent curse. "Huh?" he wasn't sure he'd heard right.

"Do you want to join me?" she clarified.

He finished, and composed himself. "Are you sure?" he asked nervously.

"I think so." She replied, suddenly feeling almost too weak to stand. Was this wrong?

"All…all right." he said, and taking a deep breath, he began to remove his clothing. He folded it carefully, and placed it on top of the hamper. He trembled slightly, and though he wasn't sure why, he was suddenly dizzy. He had never been this nervous with his wife! He slowly entered the shower with his hands clasped primly over his front, only to find Jo with her arms folded in a similar fashion over her breasts. They regarded each other in silence for a few moments, and slowly lowered their hands. Jo noticed, if only in passing, that Fangula was uncircumcised; she was able to tell this from having read Playgirl a few times. Fangula, on the other hand, had finally satisfied the curiosity he had on the subject of her nude body. With equal slowness and care, they wrapped their arms around each other, and Fangula admitted to her without shame, "Jo…I don't think I've ever been so scared…or so happy to be with someone…" She only kissed him, and affectionately removed a dollop of sour cream from the wilting spikes of his hair.

While the desire was there, they did not make love. Instead, Fangula watched Jo complete her bathing ritual, and then she stepped back to watch him do the same. He attended to his hair, and then rubbed the back of his neck with a grunt. He had been so uptight, and now his neck was sore. Without verbal prompting, Jo began to knead his neck and shoulders. After a brief moment of uncertainty, he folded his arms against the tiles and rested his head on them with a contented sigh. Jo, using the slickness of water and soap to her advantage, worked her way smoothly down to his upper back. Pressing her thumbs softly along the sides of his backbone, she could actually feel the tension melting away from his body, leaving him as pliable as clay. She pushed the heels of her hands up along his back to his deltoids, and he grunted. "Did that hurt?" she asked.

"No…Did you major in massages?" he asked her, not turning his head.

She chuckled, and replied, "No, I don't think that's even a class here."

"Hmm…" he shrugged lazily, "Could have fooled me. Could…could you do that again?"

"What…this?" she asked, repeating the action. He grunted again.

"Yeah…that. Wait…here, turn around." He told her.

"Huh?" she frowned as he turned to face her.

"Turn around!" he told her, laughing, and she complied. Then he began to imitate her actions, gently kneading her back, uncertainly at first, then more confidently as she leaned against the wall, just as he had done. He discovered that he enjoyed doing this almost as much as he had enjoyed having it done. The opportunity that presented itself did not go unnoticed by either of them, but Fangula didn't act upon it. His hands reached no inappropriate places, rather to her disappointment, and aside from the fact that they were both naked, he was the perfect gentleman. While his privates were at half-mast, they remained unused. Jo knew that she would appreciate his discretion later on when they met under normal circumstances, so she reigned in her desire. She noticed that he carefully avoided her neck. It still blew her mind how a vampire could feel so bad about having bitten someone. Though she didn't quite know why, Jo turned around and put her arms around Fangula's waist, resting the side of her head on his chest. She heard him gasp quietly, and then she felt him folding her almost protectively in his embrace. She was surprised to hear his heartbeat, and she noticed that it beat at about one quarter the speed of a human heart. Her own heart must feel like a bird's to him!

How long they stood like that they didn't know; all they knew was that they never wanted to leave that warm cocoon of water, arms and steam. His body responded accordingly, but he acted as if it hadn't and she chose to ignore it. Even after his body returned to its normal state, they remained where they were. Jo sighed, whispering, "I wish we could stay like this forever."

"Maybe we can." he returned, just as quietly. "Maybe…maybe what Little Ghoul did isn't so bad after all…"

"Hmm?"

"I haven't held a woman in such a long time…the first and last woman I slept with was my wife, and it was never like this. It was never so fulfilling, so…right. I could make you happy, Jo…I…"

"Shh…" she silenced him. She knew where this was going, and it frightened her as much as it excited her. But he wouldn't be silenced.

"I can't…I love you so…" he whispered, his voice husky with emotion.

"I love you too…I'm just…"

"Afraid? So am I! We love each other and we hardly even know what the other is really like. But that's something I'd like to find out. Let's find out, Jo…and if we like what we see after a year, I'd like to ask you to marry me."

Her heart leapt. "How…how about you ask me now?" she whispered. She realized how forward she was being, but damn it, she didn't care! They were standing nude in each other's arms; how much more forward could they possibly get?

Fangula lowered his head to her ear, and did as she had requested. "Marry me?"

She nodded, giving him a kiss that sent him soaring. "Yes. Next year, at around this time, I'll marry you." 


	10. Chapter 10

Stranger than Fiction

Chapter 10

Fangula heaved a bat-sized sigh as he winged his way back to Hillhurst. It had been a wonderful night! Who would've thought he could enjoy a bath so much? Of course he had gotten quite an eyeful of female flesh in the process, but who was he to be splitting hairs? And what a female Jo was! Not only was she a splendid example of her gender; she was also nice. And forgiving. With just enough fire in her to make an interesting contrast to her caring nature. She had been somewhat scrappy and tomboyish as a child, but she had blossomed into an exceptional young woman. 

If Fangula wasn't so prideful, he would have thanked Little Ghoul for facilitating this union. He had lost the respect of his fellow monsters, but had gained a fiancée. A fair trade, no? _Yes._ He sighed again. He no longer had their full respect, Flabber excluded of course, but he still had their friendship. Let them pity him all they liked! He no longer gave a flying hoot.

Many things that should have occurred to him didn't, but these things would soon become apparent.

***

Flabber paced the length and breadth of his parlor, theatrically biting his nails. His every move and gesture was being traced by two pairs of eyes set in otherwise motionless faces. Finally, the owner of one of those pairs of eyes began to show some annoyance, demanding in a low voice, "Will you please stop that? You're beginning to try my patience." As he spoke, his sneering lips revealed a set of deadly pointed fangs. Flabber obediently froze in place, as if he the vampire had said 'red light.'

The vampire's female companion adjusted her shroud-like hood, and sighed. "Don't take it out on him, my Lord Vlad. He is not to blame for the spell that has ensorcelled my son. It is not the girl's fault, either." She said, pronouncing the last word 'eyether' instead of 'eether'.

Vlad stood up and began pacing, as if he had forgotten that he had just told Flabber off for doing the same thing. "You are far too tolerant, Countess," he told her, hooking his thumbs in his belt buckle. "It is _your_ son, not mine, who is enamored with this human. If they are permitted to couple, you know what the result will be. It is as if to seek pleasure with an animal!" he growled.

At this, the woman stiffened. "Humans are not animals, Sir! We were both human ourselves, once."

"Silence, woman." He rounded on her, and might have struck her if she had been in range. "I suppose you _want_ to have a dhampire for a grandchild! Most such creatures commit suicide, if they aren't killed off by those overzealous stake-wielders. Well, I say no! Either he makes her one of us, or I," he struck his chest with a fist, "will kill her myself. If only to save the lad from himself." He added, though it was apparent that saving Fangula wasn't really all that important to him.

Rosamund advanced on him until they were nose to nose. "You will do no such thing, my Lord," she snarled, her eyes illuminating the room with her righteous ire, "The girl is an innocent, and so is my son. We will at least hear their side of the story."

He slapped her. She slapped him right back, twice as hard. 

The front door opened, and Rosamund gave him one last boiling-hot glare before going out into the foyer. Vlad wiped a trace of blood from his split lip, which healed so quickly that it might as well have not been damaged, and he licked the blood from his fingers with a sensuous shiver. He smirked. What a woman! It was a pity she was so low on the social ladder, or he might consider courting her. Flabber was privately disgusted.

***

Fangula had barely put a foot over the threshold before the last person he had expected to see flung her arms around his neck, exclaiming, "Darling boy, how I've missed you! Goodness, what _have_ you done to your shirt?" she stepped back, eyeing dingy stain that he had gotten from the exploding drain.

"Mother, wh—what…" he stammered, "What brings you here?"

Before she could answer him, Vlad stepped into view and folded his arms. "Count Fangula. It seems you can't stay out of trouble. First you go almost a month without claiming a victim, and now you're saddling a human wench. What shame!"

Fangula did the only sensible thing he could think of to do at the time; he fainted.

***

"No, I haven't been with her yet." Fangula answered Vlad's question when he had come to, unaware that he had said 'yet'. Vlad, however, noticed this and pounced.

"_Yet?_ No, no 'yet', I forbid it! If you only wanted her for the pleasure, I could understand that if not condone it, as long as you disposed of her in a suitable fashion afterwards or made her one of us; but from the way you speak of the matter, you seem to intend to keep her alive. Vampires and humans don't mix, as you well know."

"Why not!" he snapped before he caught himself, horrified. Vlad struck him with such force that he went flying across the room, upsetting a couch. Rosamund ran to her son's side, and helped him up into a sitting position.

"My son, you know why not." she said gently, mopping the trickle of blood from his chin with her handkerchief. "Any child of yours brought into the world by her will be a half-breed. Her child will expose your nature to the humans, and if you aren't hunted down the child will be."

Fangula pushed her hands away. "Mother, this is not Transylvania. This is America. I've seen the humans who live here, some with so many tattoos and piercings that they don't even _look_ human! Why, I even attended a football game once, in a stadium packed to the gills with hundreds of humans, and no one even gave me a second glance. Nobody even believes in us anymore."

"And I intend to keep it that way!" Vlad flared, "Either you make her one of us, or she dies. It's up to you. Which do you choose?"

Fangula regained his feet, and looked from Vlad to Rosamund to Flabber (who remained in stasis for the time being), then back to Vlad. "What I choose is not one of your proffered options."

"I beg your pardon?" 

"She will remain as she is, and I have no intention of leaving her." 

"Then I will take care—" Vlad began, but Fangula interrupted him in a voice so savage that his mother almost didn't recognize it as his.

"You so much as look at her cross-eyed, and I will enlist the help of all the Nussbaums I can scrounge up to go after you. If they fail, I will come after you myself! Commissioner or no, I refuse to allow you near my fiancée!" 

Oops…he had just let the proverbial kitty out of the bag…

Vlad stared. Rosamund gasped. Flabber's jaw dropped to the floor with a loud 'bonk', but nobody noticed the phasm.

"Your…your what?" Vlad blinked, not sure he had heard right.

It was too late to take it back. Fangula could do nothing but push on. "Tonight I asked her to marry me. She said yes. A year from now, we're getting married." He took a step forward, "And you are not to touch her."

"Make her one of us." Vlad said, though he was losing momentum; he was little used to having his will crossed, especially by one he considered to be almost as low on the social ladder as humans. He seemed to be torn between ripping Fangula limb from limb, or crumpling to the floor in a fit of hysterical laughter.

"No."

"Have you given her a ring?"

"Well, no…"

"Then it is not official."

"Yes," Fangula replied, "It is. I bit her. She is bound to me."

Rosamund sat down rather heavily. "Oh dear…"

"I forbid you to marry this girl!" Vlad raged.

"Do you truly love her?" Rosamund asked her son, pointedly ignoring Vlad. She knew about the spell, but she still needed to hear a confirmation from him.

Fangula's eyes glazed over as he remembered the shower he had taken with Jo. "More than anything. If we can't be married, then we'll just have to live in sin." He lifted his chin defiantly.

"Then, if you will, allow me to meet her and speak with her." She told him.

"But you've already met her." he protested, ignoring his fuming superior.

"She was a child at the time. I want to see the woman she's become. I trust your judgment, but this love was brought on by a spell. I need to see for myself whether or not she is suitable. Though I suspect you will marry her, with or without my blessing." She smiled at him before jerking her head in Vlad's direction, "Or his permission."

Vlad turned away, heading for the front door. "We'll see," he muttered, and disappeared into the night.

Fangula surged forward, but his mother held him back with a strength that a human woman (other than Jo, that is) could never possess. "Let go! He's going after her!"

"Don't worry, I will take care of that." she told him, pulling him over to a chair and forcing him to sit. Then, turning to Flabber, she said, "Phasm, I appeal to you to warn this girl of our lord's coming. Have her find transportation. I want her here within the hour."

Flabber immediately clicked his feet together and saluted. "Sir, yes sir! Eep, I mean _ma'am!_"

The phasm zipped from the room, leaving a trail of dust in his wake. Rosamund blinked twice, and turned to her son. "Is…is he _always_ like that?"

Fangula sighed, cupping his chin in his hands. "Yes."


	11. The Accident

Stranger than Fiction

Chapter 11

Jo finished scrubbing the drain debris from the cabinets and counter top, and went to the bathroom to wash her hands. Hopefully _that_ sink would behave itself. Fangula had offered to stay and help her clean up, but she didn't want to risk having her room mate find him here, especially since both of them still had rather wet hair; so, rather than having to explain themselves, they had kissed and said good-night. She could just imagine the sly looks and the questions they would get if he had stayed. _Has Jo been a naughty girl? Did her boyfwiend give her a spanky-wanky? Shame shame, I know your name…_

Jo groaned aloud in disgust. That was just the sort of thing Kate would say, too. Jo dried her hands on a towel, and went back out to sit on her bed. She had intended to watch some TV before turning in, but then she saw the gift that Fangula had given her earlier. The fake black rose lay undisturbed where she had put it, suddenly seeming infinitely more precious than a dozen of the real ones. How cute he had looked, clutching it in his hand as if he were a child offering a dandelion. She picked up the flower, and was about to bring it to her face so that she could feel the soft feathers against her cheek, when Flabber's face appeared in the center of the rose bud. She jumped, almost dropping it, then sighed. "You scared me." she said reproachfully, managing a weak smile.

"Sorry, Jo, but this is important. You remember Vlad the Impaler?"

A chill swept over her as she recalled the vampire's face, how on their first meeting he had made as if to kiss her hand, but at the last moment had tried to bite it. "Yeah. What about him?"

"Well, he's here! Not here at Hillhurst, but here in Charterville, and he's mad as heck! He just left, and he's on his way over to the dorms. You gotta get outta there!"

"Right!" Jo began to put the flower down, but Flabber wasn't finished.

"Wait! Fang's mother's here, too. She told me to tell you to come to Hillhurst. I think you should get Drew and Roland; you never know with Vlad the Impaler. You might need them." And with that, Flabber's face disappeared. 

Jo swallowed hard. What had she gotten herself into now? She hadn't actually had to Borg in almost a year, but she had an idea that she would be in less danger if she did so before leaving. This was no ordinary vampire; this was the commissioner of all vampires, and rumored to be the very first. 

Standing in the middle of the room, she held out her right hand, palm up, and called as loudly as she dared, "Data bonder!" Purple lightning traveled down her arm, and a small device about the size of a computer mouse appeared in her hand. She said "Input card!", inserting a small metal card into the device, then she held it above her head. "Beetle Blast!"

A moment later she stood fully garbed in her Beetleborg armor, which enveloped her body like a second skin, neither pinching nor chafing. Her nose was filled with the faint smells of ozone and metal; a low, almost inaudible hum of air filters and who knew what other gadgets sounded near her ears, and the feeling of homecoming was finally complete.

***

Drew and Roland had arranged to meet Art Fortunes that night at a pub in Urbana City. Art Fortunes, a cartoonist by trade and the creator of Beetleborgs Comics, was much older than they were, and not much of a drinker. Still, he shared a good deal of history with the legendary trio, so he had agreed to meet them at a place of their choosing. He was at a loss when he saw only Drew and Roland, and he became downright worried when he noticed that Drew was downing his fourth beer, while he himself had barely gotten through half of his first. "Don't you think you should pace yourself a little bit?" he asked, "We didn't even eat yet."

Roland, who was also working on his first drink, glanced first at Drew, then at Art. The look on his face was one of worry, but it was a different sort of worry; _he_ actually seemed to know what was going on. "Something wrong?" asked Art.

Drew finished his drink, and ordered another. The bartender raised an eyebrow as he went to get it; they had only been there for half an hour. He hoped that this kid would be able to make it to the men's room, because at this rate he'd be needing it. 

Drew rubbed his temples, and sighed. "My sister's in love."

"But…that's not bad, that's good!" the cartoonist was confused.

"_With_ Count Fangula." Roland finished, munching on a pretzel. Drew had told him some of it. "Little Ghoul cast a love spell on them, and it's irreversible. That's why Jo didn't come with us; she needed time alone to think."

Art shook his head, feeling a stab of pity for Drew and his sister, and even a little bit for Fangula. "Jeez…how do _you_ feel about all this?" he asked Drew.

"How do you _think_ I feel about it?" the younger man shot back, his cheeks scarlet with sudden anger and with the drink, "He almost boffed her in the park for fuck's sake! He even bit her on the neck, and the worst part is I can't even blame him for it! He isn't just trying to get some, he really _loves_ her; so I can't even be _mad_ at him!"

Art sat there, slack-jawed and actually a little bit afraid of Drew at the moment. He hadn't expected such a vehement, _colorful_ reply. The bartender set down the beer, and said to Drew, "Hey buddy, if you don't lower you're voice, I'm 'onna have to ask you to leave."

Drew just put his head in his hands, his fingers poking through his hair. He didn't feel like dealing with the bartender right now, or anyone else for that matter. The bartender, seeming satisfied, nodded and left to wait on some other customer.

"You crying?" asked Roland.

"No." came the muffled reply, and it was obvious that he was. 

"Sorry I brought it up." Art said, picking up his beer and making as if to drink it, then setting it down instead. 

"It's just…it's my _sister_, you know?" Drew mumbled, "It's not that I have anything special against him, I just…I don't want to see them _together_, you know? Told Jo it was up to her, but I don't _want_ her to love him…He's a vampire, you know?"

"I know." Art said, giving Drew's arm an awkward pat. "But it _is _her choice, and she's not doin' this to hurt you. She's a smart girl. Trust her to do the right thing."

"Ulp…" Drew got up and made a mad dash for the men's room. Roland followed, and came back to report that Drew was, quote, 'driving the great white bus,' unquote.

"Poor kid," the cartoonist sighed, taking a sip of his drink. "Seems to be taking it pretty hard."

Roland nodded. "Actually, I'd rather see him like this than like he's been the past few days. Going around like a sleepwalker, and all. Shocked him pretty bad…shocked me, too, but then I'm not her brother. At least now he seems to be coming out of it. Maybe he'll be okay after tonight. Don't think I've ever seen him bawl before, though."

"Mmm…he might be afraid of losing her altogether. My brother and I had our differences and all, but when he killed himself…" he trailed off, his face becoming introspective.

"I remember." Roland nodded, thinking back. Art had been over for a visit when Flabber had sensed the death of Les Fortunes just as it happened, and of course the phasm couldn't just keep it from him. The cartoonist had wept in uncontrollable spasms, unable to stop for a long time, though he hadn't wanted to do it in front of them; he simply couldn't help it. Roland and the other two had thought it best to leave, thereby allowing him to mourn with some dignity; the last memory Roland had of that time was Art fortunes standing there in the parlor with Flabber, the phasm supporting him firmly and seeming to be the only thing that kept him from falling to the floor. It was a heartbreaking scene, one that Roland hoped he would never again have to witness.

"He just needs some time." said Art. "At least _his_ sibling's still alive."

Roland thought it best not to reply to that, and they continued to sit in silence until Drew returned.

"Sorry about all that." he said as he sat back down. "I didn't mean to spoil everything."

"Hey, don't worry about it." The cartoonist tried to sound upbeat, "I wouldn't feel much like celebratin' either. Maybe we should…" he had been about to suggest that the leave, when a voice came from the bar. 

"Drew, can you hear me?" It was Jo's voice, coming from the Data Bonder that seemed to have been there all the time, but of course it hadn't been.

Drew just stared stupidly, so Roland picked it up. "Jo?"

"Roland? Where's Drew?" she asked, sensing that something was amiss. 

"He's here, he's just…well, what's up?"

"Hopefully not my number." She replied dryly, "Vlad the Impaler's back, and he's pissed."

"Huh?" Drew frowned, finally coming alive.

"Somehow he found out about me and Fangula. Flabber just told me, and Fangula's mother's here, too."

"What's she want?" asked Drew.

"Same thing, I assume…Have you been drinking?"

"Shit…"

"I better go," Roland said, "Art, do you think you can drive him home?"

"Wait a minute!" Drew protested as the cartoonist nodded, "I'm coming, too."

"Drew, there's no way you can drive your sector cycle _or_ your BV like this, let alone fight." Roland told him.

"But…"

"Go with Art, Drew." Said Jo over the Bonder, sounding neither angry nor disappointed, but hurried. "I'll be okay with Roland; if you got hurt because of me, I'd never be able to live with it."

"But…"

"_Please,_ Drew. Go with him, for me. We'll stay in touch through the Bonders, but I have to leave _now._" 

The urgency in her voice pierced them, even spoken through the device, and Drew finally agreed. The three of them left the pub, and Roland went into an alley to Borg while Drew was sick again on the sidewalk. "You're not a big drinker either, huh?" the cartoonist observed, supporting Drew while he retched.

"Hard to tell, right?" Drew quipped, when he was able to speak. "God, I feel like such an ass. Jo needs me, and I'm plastered."

"Come on, you didn't know." Roland said, coming out of the alley in his armor. "Just get out of here, and get some sleep. And, uh, here…you might be needing this." He tossed drew an old bucket he had found in the alley. Art, in particular, appreciated this; he was driving a new Dodge Intrepid, with an all-leather interior, and all he had in it that might be suitable was a small receptacle for snotty tissues.

Roland left on his sector cycle, and Art drove Drew to the dorms. Drew didn't get sick on the way, but when they were about halfway there he burst into tears. Art was really at a loss then, and could think of nothing to do except pull over. "Hey, it'll be okay." He said helplessly.

"You don't know that."

"No, but I can believe it, and so can you."

"But Jo…"

"The best thing you can do for your sister is to stay out of it tonight, and get sober." Art told him firmly, handing him a tissue. "It's not entirely your fault you can't be there, it's just bad timing."

"This is all because of Fangula…no, Little Ghoul, it's all because of _her_ I'm gonna lose Jo. And I _will_ lose her either way, to Vlad or Fangula, it's all the same!"

"You're not gonna lose her. Count Fangula may not be your idea of an ideal match, but he won't keep her from still being your sister. And she can take care of herself. She'll be okay."

"How can you say that?" Drew asked, calming down a bit. "You _know _what it's like to lose someone. Your brother shot himself." He immediately regretted saying that; the cartoonist went white as a sheet. "Sorry, Art. I didn't mean…"

"No, you're right. He did shoot himself. I _did_ lose him. But that'd be the only way you'd lose Jo, I'm sure of it, and she'd never do that. My brother was insane; she's steady as a rock." He started up the car again, and they were off.

"I really am sorry, though. I wasn't thinking."

"I saw how many beers you had, Drew. Don't worry about it."

***

Vlad was heading for the dorms when he spotted Jo on her sector cycle as she speeded towards Hillhurst. He dove, slamming into the side of her head and sending her and her vehicle careening off a cliff. Jo, who wasn't expecting such an attack, absorbed the full force of the blow; her head bounced as she tumbled down the steep bank, and she lost consciousness before she hit the bottom.

***

"Ahh!" Flabber groaned, clutching his head and gritting his teeth as if in unbearable pain. Fangula was instantly alarmed, and not just for Flabber's sake; the phasm had had a similar reaction when Les Fortunes had put a pistol in his mouth and pulled the trigger.

"Something's happened, I know it! Is it Jo?" 

The phasm couldn't answer right away, and an engine was heard from outside. Fangula rushed out, expecting to see Jo, but it was only Roland. The vampire peered down the road, but there was nothing. He went back inside in disgust, and nearly bumped into Flabber. His blood, which was normally cool anyway, suddenly seemed to freeze in his veins. The phasm had tears in his eyes. "It's Jo…there was an accident…she…she needs an ambulance."


	12. Chapter 12

Stranger than Fiction

Chapter 12

There never was any fight that night. Vlad had made good on his threat, in a way none of them had anticipated. When Flabber finished saying that Jo needed an ambulance, Fangula changed himself into a bat and was off like a shot, followed closely by the smaller bat that was his mother. Roland had to duck to avoid them and Rosamund squeaked an apology, though of course he couldn't understand her. 

Had he not bitten Jo, Fangula wouldn't have known where to look, but he felt the briefest mental tug that led him in the right direction.

Jo lay at the cliff's bottom, out of her armor and without her sector cycle, both of which had disappeared in the involuntary back-blast. With a shrill cry that carried over to his man-form, Fangula landed at her side; he would have gathered her in his arms if his mother hadn't stopped him. "Don't move her! Don't move her! Her neck, it might be…"

"No!" he clapped his hands over his ears, not wanting to hear. "No…" he said it over and over again, like a mantra, though of course it didn't do any good. His words held no real power, and his fiancée stayed as she was.

He didn't move her, didn't dare, but he carefully lifted her hand as if it were a fragile bird and brought it to his lips, then to his forehead. She was alive, but for how long? And, oh, her face! It had been angelic in its beauty not half an hour ago, but now it was covered in tiny scrapes and bruises. She must have back-blasted before coming to the bottom. The left side of her head was bleeding through her hair, and even now he had to curb his bloodlust. It was only his nature, but it disgusted him. He had never hated Vlad so much as he did now. "Why didn't you…let me go after him?" he whispered to his mother, his voice thin and breaking.

"I feared for your safety." She told him, scanning the skies for any sign of Vlad and finding none. He was, apparently, satisfied that she hadn't lived through it.

"And I feared for hers! And now look what's hap—happened…Oh, Jo…"

Rosamund laid a hand on her son's back as he held Jo's hand to his forehead and broke down crying. She hadn't heard him weep like that since he was a small boy having daymares. It tore at her heart to hear it. Then she heard something else; sirens. "Fangula…son, we have to go. Come, we can't be seen here." She grasped his shoulders, and finally he rose, still sobbing, and let her lead him away into the shadows. "Turn bat, so that they can't hear you." she whispered, and he did so without thinking. She held the small, quivering form close to her and hunkered down to watch, stroking his furry head with her fingers and trying in vain to calm him.

The cliff wasn't an extremely steep one, and Jo would have tumbled instead of plummeting, but such a fall could still be fatal. Had the sector cycle landed on top of her? Had she fractured her skull? Broken her back?

Whether she had or not, the incline of the cliff allowed the paramedics to reach her on foot. After checking her vital signs and fitting her with a neck brace, the counted to three and lifted her onto a stretcher and strapped her in snugly. Rosamund couldn't hear what they were saying, but she doubted that she would understand their technical jargon if she _could_ hear them. Fangula struggled to get loose as they bore his beloved up the hill and into the back of the ambulance. Only then did Rosamund dare to whisper to him, "Hush, my darling, hush. She will be all right. They will take care of her. They would not have moved her so quickly if it were not safe to do so." She only hoped that this would prove to be the case.

***

Roland was waiting in the lobby when Art Fortunes and Drew showed up, followed shortly by Fangula and his mother. "Where is she?" Drew asked right away, and Roland told him that she was being examined, but that he had been told nothing beyond that. Drew glanced at Fangula, who flinched and turned his eyes to the floor. It was clear that he had been crying, and that he would most likely begin to cry again if he had to make eye contact with Jo's brother. Rosamund was eyeing Drew with some curiosity, and her careful scrutiny kept him from asking Fangula any questions. Drew wondered at the vampire's appearance; his hair wasn't combed into spikes like it usually was; even under the hooded sweatshirt he wore, his hair had clearly not been gelled. Perhaps the vampire had been caught in the shower, or so Drew reasoned. He still couldn't think—or walk—straight.

An hour later, five figures sat in the hospital waiting room, waiting for news on Jo McCormick. Whether she would be all right was still unclear; they had been told that she had a serious concussion and a broken wrist, as well as a dislocated shoulder. That last injury was easily taken care of, but it was the concussion that was the real cause for alarm. The doctor on call was actually surprised at how _little_ trauma there was after such a fall (this they credited to her armor, but they couldn't tell _him_ that), but head injuries were, as he put it, 'pretty tricky things'. If she suddenly developed a bleed, then there was little that could be done. The gash in the side of her head had been an inch long, and in order to stitch it up a small, coin-sized patch of hair needed to be shaved off. Of course it wouldn't show, but that was the least of their worries.

Fangula sat beside his mother, both of them wearing hooded apparel to disguise their features. Roland sat between Drew and Art fortunes, and Flabber, who was unable to physically be there, kept popping in and out of various objects to hear any updates. All but Rosamund wore identical masks of shock and grief; the vampire woman's face held a look of concern, as well as poorly concealed anger that was directed at Vlad. Fangula had exhausted himself earlier, and seemed to be drifting in and out of sleep. Drew sat quietly, neither looking at anyone nor actually seeing the lamp he was staring at. Roland was tapping his fingers on his folded arms, and he kept glancing at the clock. Art Fortunes was sitting hunched forward on the edge of his seat with his eyes closed and his elbows on his knees, resting his chin on his clasped hands. He looked as if he were praying. He very well might have been, but no one was looking at him.

Drew was finally let in to see his sister, and the others were told to go home. Fangula glowered at the doctor before taking his mother aside. "I'm going to see her," he whispered decisively, "If the Commissioner learns that she's still alive…"

"I understand." She told him, "Shall I come with you?"

"No. I…I have to see her alone." he kissed his mother's cheek, and went to stand where he could see Drew come back, but he himself would go unnoticed. Art and Roland had already left the room, and so were none the wiser. Of course, Art would be waiting outside for Drew, who was still incapable of driving safely. 

***

Rosamund passed the cartoonist, who watched her mistrustfully. She paused, then approached him. "I don't believe we've been introduced, Sir. I am Count Fangula's mother, Countess Rosamund, but you may call me Rose, if you like."

Art nodded uncertainly, "I'm Art Fortunes."

"Am I to understand that you know this girl well? This Jo McCormick?" she inquired, taking note of his unease and keeping her distance from him. She wasn't particularly hungry at the moment, so he need not have worried. Still, she understood mortals rather well, and respected their wishes well enough when she required no blood.

Art nodded again. "I've known her since she was a kid. I hadn't seen her in ten years, though. Still haven't." he glanced pensively at the hospital, obviously worried. "I hope she'll be okay."

"Mortals are resilient." She replied, "And I understand that she is no ordinary mortal."

"A Beetleborg…it's a good thing she had her armor, or…" he winced, and looked away.

"Perhaps you can tell me about her." she prompted.

"What for?" he asked, and she took a deliberate step forward. It was unclear whether his directness annoyed her, or if she just wanted be able to speak without raising her voice.

"My son wishes to marry her. That's why I'm here. You see…our Commissioner is greatly angered by this. It is because of this that she came to harm. I am uncertain as to what happened exactly, but…well, it was not _my_ intention to have her so injured. I tried to warn her; or, rather, I had the phasm warn her, since I know not where she lives. I only wished to meet her."

Art was staring at her, his face pale. "Why would you try to warn her? _You_ can't be happy about this." He said, referring to her son and Jo being in love.

"Only because it would end badly. But my son is a grown man, and so is not required to obey me in such matters. It's Vlad that worried me. I cannot protect my son from him." Then, seeming to remember that she was confiding in a mortal she hardly knew, she drew herself up and began to walk away.

"Wait!" Art called, "How did you know where to find her?" he asked, meaning the hospital.

Rosamund stopped, and looked back. "My son and I found her at the bottom of the cliff, and Flabber gave us directions to this place."

And with that, she transformed into a bat and was gone.

***

Fangula tensed when he saw Drew pass through the lobby, but the younger man didn't see him. Seizing his opportunity, Fangula transformed. It took some doing, avoiding the sight of doctors and nurses, and he had to wait for an hour outside the room where Jo lay for someone to open the door. If it wasn't for the security camera, he could have just walked in unnoticed during this time. Finally, however, he was able to zip through the door when it was opened, and hide behind the bed.

When whoever it was had left, he crawled out from behind the bed and transformed, bringing over a hard plastic chair to sit on. Jo was hooked up to any number of machines, which beeped and blipped regularly, but at least she was breathing on her own. Her left arm, from the elbow down, was sheathed in a purple cast. How funny that the Platinum Purple Beetleborg should receive a purple cast. 

He reached over to touch her face, his hand shaking, but he was afraid that if he touched her he would hurt her. He got out of the chair and knelt down beside the bed, folding his arms on the mattress and burying his face in them.

_"How could this happen? How could he do this?"_ he thought despairingly, _"You can't leave me, Jo. I need you. I didn't know how much I needed someone until Little Ghoul gave us to each other. I didn't know how empty my life really was until my arms were full. Damn it, you _can't_ just act like a mortal and die! You won't be brought back to life, you know. You won't be a part of the living dead like myself and like Mums…even Frankie would probably count, but you will just be gone. My angel, my treasure, I _need_ you! I need you…I need you…"_

"Pssst! Fangula!"

Fangula jumped, and after looking in several wrong directions, he spotted Flabber's face in one of the monitors. "What?"

"Is she okay?"

"What does it look like?" he snapped in a sudden rage, gesturing at the bed. "You know as much as we do. She…she could still…Oh, go away! Go bother Mums, or something! Leave me alone!" He put his head back down, unwilling to speak anymore. 

Flabber popped out again, leaving them in peace, though not before he saw Fangula give in to his grief.

***

"Well?" asked Mums, when Flabber popped back into the room. The phasm was almost in tears…again.

"Well what?" he asked, sitting down in an easy chair that had just conveniently appeared under his butt.

"How's Jo? Why isn't Fangula back yet?" the mummy put his hands on his bony hips. They were the only two in the parlor. Wolfie and Frankie were off making a mess in the kitchen, something that had to do with ice cream.

"Jo's the same. Fang's with her. He all but chased me off." The phasm put his head in his hands and sighed. "You know, my magic can do all sorts of things, but one thing it can't do is heal physical damage…not even when it's needed the most. I can't turn back time. I can't control people's actions very well, or I woulda made that vampire turn back and go home…I can't help her…I can't help him…what good am I?" and he was crying, for the umpteenth time that night.

Mums just stood there, not knowing what to say. Frankenbeans came clomping into the room with a gigantic hot fudge and bugs sundae, which he dropped, and which would have clattered to the floor if Mums hadn't made a dive and caught it. "No cry, Flabber!" he gave the phasm a clumsy pat, and pointed to the sundae. "Look Frankie make! Me make for you, you want?"

"Not hungry…" Flabber mumbled.

"Well, can I have it then?" asked Mums.

Flabber nodded, but Frankie waved his hands and shook his head. "No have, no have!" There was a chase, which ended when Mums tripped, dousing Flabber with the treat.

"Now look what you've gone and done!" Mums groused, giving Frankenbeans a shove.

Flabber scooped some whipped cream from his face with a finger, and guided it into his mouth. "Mmm…yummy." He burst out laughing at how silly he must have looked. "Okay, you guys, you win. Come on, let's go clean up."


	13. Chapter 13

Stranger than Fiction

Chapter 13

Fangula awoke with a start, feeling the back of his neck beginning to burn. The sun was shining through the window, and he was directly in the path of its rays. While sunlight didn't bother most vampires like the stories said it did, it still caused a painful variety of sunburn that came quickly and left them strawberry-red. It was only dangerous if they had no way to escape it, and if they stayed in it for longer than an hour. He hissed, and clapped his hand to his neck before it occurred to him to put his hood up.

Jo still hadn't awakened. In the sunlight her bruises were much more livid, and the oxygen tube in her nose only enhanced her vulnerable appearance. He had seen the tube the night before, but his mind hadn't really registered it; come to think of it, his mind hadn't registered much at all. Her brother had been drunk, he knew that much; he had probably been drowning his sorrows over his sister's plight. Fangula couldn't blame him; in truth, he felt he could use a few cold ones, beer or plasma, himself. He touched Jo's cheek, no longer afraid of hurting her. She was vulnerable, yes, but she wouldn't break. "Jo?" he whispered, giving her cheek a gentle nudge.

He hadn't expected a response, and he didn't get one. He sighed, and kissed her forehead. She had made it through the night, and that gave him some hope.

The doorknob turned, and he flattened himself beside the bed and turned bat. From his position under the bed, he saw a pair of worn white sneakers as the nurse checked Jo's vitals. His stomach curled into a ball, and offered up a pleading growl as his senses sharpened to the faint scent of blood. He could see that the nurse had a paper cut on her right thumb, and he was reminded that the last thing he had had to eat was that steak from the night before. She left, and he crawled out after her at a surprising speed, almost getting caught in the door. _I'll be back, Jo…_

Fangula waited out of the view of the camera until he was alone, and changed back. Drawing his hood down as far as it would go, he began to make his way down the hall.

"Oh, sir, you can't be here right now," said one of the nurses on duty. "Visiting hours don't begin for half an hour yet." 

He apologized, telling her that he had gotten lost looking for the cafeteria, and she swallowed his excuse and told him where to go. He quickly found out why she so readily believed him; there was a branch in the halls, one of which led to Jo's room, and the other of which to the cafeteria. He could easily have made that wrong turn on his own, so he had not aroused her suspicions after all.

Fangula saw Roland sitting at one of the tables, but the younger man was engrossed in a novel and a bag of salt and vinegar potato chips. The vampire perused the meal choices, and selected a double order of sausage patties without the pancakes, a Mars Bar, and a glass of tomato juice. If he couldn't have blood, then he figured he might as wall have something that was roughly the same color…

He carried his tray over to Roland's table, and hesitantly cleared his throat. When Roland looked up, he asked, "Mind if I eat here?"

Roland smiled at him, and indicated the chair beside him. "It's a free country. I had a feeling you might still be here. How's life treatin' ya?"

"Interesting choice of words," Fangula quipped, sitting down, "What are you doing here?"

Roland held up his book and pointed to it, as if that explained everything. "I'm reading."

They stared each other down until Roland cracked a smile. Fangula shook his head, and tore at the end of the candy bar wrapper with his teeth. "I guess you're waiting for visiting hours to start." He decided aloud, setting his teeth into the treat.

"Yeah. You all right? You don't look so good."

Fangula shrugged as he chewed, and answered after he had swallowed. "I…guess so. And I guess she'll be all right, but…I should have gone after him, Roland!" he turned to the other man suddenly, dropping the candy bar onto the tray. "I should have done something."

"He would have killed you." Roland told him matter-of-factly.

"I don't care; he nearly killed _her._ I should have done something, I…" he shook his head and looked away, brooding. "I don't know…"

"Hey, come on." Roland put a hand on his shoulder, something he wouldn't have even considered doing five years ago. "It wouldn't have made any difference."

"It's because I love her, because I refused to break it off that he went after her." Fangula told him. He considered brushing Roland's hand off, but decided not to. Somehow it made him feel a little better.

"No," Roland said levelly, "he went after her because he's an asshole. You're not to blame for his attack, and there's nothing wrong with loving someone. And if you don't stop blaming yourself, you're gonna piss me off." He gave Fang's shoulder a little shake for emphasis before he let go, and the vampire snickered briefly. When had the two of them become friends?

"What're you reading?" he asked, starting in on his sausage.

"An old Stephen King book, 'Firestarter.' Ever read it?"

"I've read all his books. His mind's even dirtier than Shakespear's, but you'll never find a better author."

"I'm not so sure myself. This is the first one of his I've read, and I'm barely past the title page. Don't have much of an opinion yet. Oh, by the way, I talked to Flabber this morning."

Fangula frowned, remembering his treatment of the phasm the night before with a twinge of shame. "What did he say?"

"Not much, he just asked me to give you this to give to Jo, with strict orders that you don't look at it or touch it." He held up a longish velvet box.

"What is it?" 

"A crucifix. For Jo, to keep her safe from Vlad. Just out of curiosity, what would happen if you did touch it?"

Fangula shuddered. "It would melt the flesh of my hands, and eventually the rest of me would follow. You won't find a more potent charm. Even looking at it hurts our eyes. Keep it away from me."

"Not to worry. She's supposed to wear it only when you're not around. She'll be safe from him."

After a moment, Fangula asked, "Flabber didn't say anything else, did he?"

"No…why?"

He shrugged, and shook his head. "I sort of snapped at him last night. I know I shouldn't have, and I didn't mean to, but…I don't know. I guess I owe him an apology."

"Guess so, but he seemed a lot better today. I don't think he'll be mad at you for long, if he ever _was_ mad at you."

"He was more hurt than mad. I really should apologize."

"Well, don't talk about it, do it. But in the meantime, visiting hours are starting. Let's go see her."

***

A surprise awaited them when they arrived; Jo had opened her eyes. They were bloodshot, and her pain was evident, but she was awake. "Jo!" Fangula rushed to her side, and carefully brushed her bangs from her forehead.

"Fangula? Roland…what happened? It hurts…" she mumbled, then she squinted her eyes at Fangula. "Why're you crying?"

He sniffed, and wiped his nose on his sleeve. "I didn't even realize I was…You…Vlad attacked you. Do you remember anything?"

Her forehead creased, and she slowly shook her head from side to side. "All I know is something slammed into my head and knocked me off my 'cycle."

Roland placed the box containing the crucifix on the night stand, and pointed at the door. "I'll go call Drew and tell him you're awake."

Jo nodded, and Roland was gone. Fangula rubbed his eyes one more time, trying not to laugh. She was awake, and she was okay!

"Fang…" she gripped his hand urgently, and he grew suddenly concerned.

"What is it?"

"Nothing, just…just don't leave…me…" she closed her eyes and sighed, drifting off into a peaceful, healing sleep.

"Never, my love…" he whispered, smoothing her scraped hand with his thumb, "Never."

***

It was later that night, when it was just Jo and Fangula in the room, that Vlad the Impaler finally showed up to finish what he had started. Drew had already visited, as had Art Fortunes, and the room was filled with flowers; the people who brought them, however, had left hours ago, and the only hope for Jo lay in her fiancée. He froze under his superior's gaze, unable to move. Jo was asleep; she had no idea what sort of danger she was in.

"You had better leave, Count," Vlad purred, confident that Fangula would back down, "I have unfinished business with your little brood mare, here."

Fangula, however, did not back down. "What kind of a coward attacks a woman in the dark? Without even announcing himself? And then disappears so that he won't have to deal with anyone who might rescue her? I thought you were supposed to be a gentleman."

"You forget your true nature. We are _vampires,_ Count! We live by such 'cowardice', if you want to call it that. I need not explain it to you. Now, I suggest that you stand aside and not anger me any further than you already have…"

Fangula did the only thing he could think of, and the last thing either of them expected. He put his hand on the box, and drew it towards him. Vlad started slowly forward, and Fangula opened the box and withdrew the crucifix, which was not yet attached to a chain. It all happened so quickly; Fangula held up the crucifix, his face twisted in anticipation of the pain that had yet to appear. Vlad shielded his eyes with a hiss and fled from the room, and Fangula noticed with a sort of detached wonder that the crucifix wasn't hurting him at all. 

He gazed down at the tiny golden image of Christ, and even that didn't effect him adversely. In fact, it filled him with a curious sort of peace, and he could actually feel the protective, kinetic shell that had formed around them to shield them from evil. He would later learn that if a vampire were to use such an object with love, then he would no longer need to have fear of it. An object of good, used with love and goodwill, would reward the person who invoked it with immunity. Good rewarded by healing and protection, not harm. But of course, he knew nothing of this at the time. With a shaking hand, he picked up the phone and dialed Drew's number at the dorms. He didn't realize that he was still clutching the crucifix until the edges began to poke into his hand. 

The line was ringing, and at the second ring Drew picked up. "Hello?"

Fang tried to speak but his mouth had gone dry.

"Hello? Are you there?"

Fangula cleared his throat, and finally succeeded in speaking. "Drew?" His voice came out in a hoarse whisper.

"Fangula? What's wrong?" a note of fear crept into Drew's voice, and Fangula dropped the crucifix onto the mattress and put his hand to his head.

"He was here. Vlad was here. She's okay, but…I touched it, I touched the cross, and…" he swallowed, "Oh, God…I…I feel sick…"

"I'll be right there!" Drew replied, and the line went dead. 

Fangula rose to his feet, slowly made his way to the tiny cubicle of a bathroom, and vomited until he felt that he would soon see his shoes emerge from his mouth. Then, shaking in reaction to everything that had happened, he rested his cheek on the toilet seat and gave a quavering groan. He didn't know how long he had sat there before the stench of his own bile became apparent, and he flushed the toilet with a disgusted sneer. Then he stiffened. _Jo!_

He stumbled back to her bedside, but she was undisturbed. He sighed, and knelt down beside her. He hadn't had time to think when Vlad had appeared, but now that it was over he was afraid. God, he was so afraid! He had never done anything so brave, so _stupid,_ and now he had to deal with it, to _think_ about it. And he didn't want to. He just wanted to hold her and be held by her. How close he had just come to losing her, and to killing himself.

It wasn't long before Drew appeared in the doorway. Visiting hours were not yet over, so they were both 'legal' at that point. The first thing he said was, "You touched the cross?" Then he joined the vampire at Jo's bedside.

"She's okay." Fangula said again. "He never touched her."

Drew examined her briefly to make sure, then turned to Fangula. "Are _you_ okay? That cross should have killed you."

Fangula didn't answer; he couldn't. He was trembling, and staring at Jo's placid face. Drew did something that would have been out of place otherwise; he took both of the vampire's hands in his own, and turned them so that the palms faced upward. There was not a mark to be seen. He let go, and Fangula let his hands drop to the bed.

"You saved my sister's life…" Drew said quietly.

Fangula didn't speak; he continued to tremble, his eyes so wide that the whites shone all around.

"Are you okay?" Drew asked again, and was answered with a sob as the vampire finally broke down. Drew put an arm around the man he had attacked a week before. His opinion of the vampire had risen considerably in the face of what he had done. Nothing more needed to be said; the full impact of what Fangula had just done had finally caught up with him, and all that remained was to weather the storm. It didn't take long. 

"Forgive me," Fangula said when he had calmed down, "I didn't mean to do that."

"You kidding? I'd do it, and I'd probably puke, too." Drew replied.

"I did." Fangula shuddered again, and looked at his hands. It was still true; he was still whole.

"Oh…well, there's no shame in it." Drew said, and they sat in silence for a while.

"Why didn't it hurt me?" Fangula wondered aloud. "I don't get it."

Drew shrugged, and got to his feet. "Look, I'm gonna go get us something to drink…maybe I can convince them to let us stay the night with her."

Fangula nodded, and Drew left the room. He soon returned with two coffees, and the news that they would be allowed to stay, but that it had taken considerable nagging to get them to say yes. That it went against hospital policy, blah-blah-blah…Drew affected a lisping falsetto as he made fun of the head nurse, and put a little extra wiggle in his step as he imitated her walk, provoking a laugh from Fangula. He handed the vampire one of the coffees and sat down, saying, "God, it was just like pulling teeth."

Fangula winced; dental jokes always made him have sympathy pains…

Though it was hardly necessary, they kept guard through the night. They said very little, but in that time they became aware of the startling revelation that they had become friends. Maybe everything would work out after all.


	14. Chapter 14

Stranger than Fiction

Chapter 14

Jo was released from the hospital three days later. Due to the suspicious nature of her accident, the police came by and she had to answer a few questions. Yes, she had a boyfriend. No, they hadn't had a fight. No, there wasn't any chance that he was connected to it. She explained away the 'motor cycle' tracks by saying that they had already been there, but though they didn't believe her, they couldn't prove otherwise. She couldn't explain to them how she had ended up the bottom of the cliff in that condition, and she had simply told them that she couldn't remember. They finally let her go, telling her to be careful, and one of them slipped her a pamphlet on domestic abuse. She had thanked him politely, though she found the idea insulting, since nothing of that sort had happened.

Fangula had wanted to be there, but everyone including himself felt that it would only be asking for trouble, what with the police being there and his being what he was. It was decided that Drew would drive her to Hillhurst, and they would see each other then. 

Drew helped Jo on with her seat belt, and started up the car. She leaned back, fingering the crucifix around her neck, reflecting. So far, Fangula was still able to look at it and handle it. It had amazed her that he had put his life on the line for hers, but it filled her with a swell of pride as well. It also relieved her to know that Drew finally seemed to accept that they were in love, and there was no way to end it. Now all she had to do was convince her parents…erk!

Drew took the turns very carefully, and though she fought it, she soon dozed off. Her painkillers had brought sleep, and with the sleep came the dreams…

_Though she hardly remembered what Vlad the Impaler had looked like, she did remember that he had very piercing eyes. Not piercing in the same way that Fangula's were; Fangula's eyes had bordered on playful when he had chased her all those years ago. It was mostly a game, and even when he was very angry for one reason or another, his eyes were only that; angry, not cruel or calculating. Vlad's eyes, on the other hand, seemed to cast a mist of poison on everything and everyone they viewed. Vlad was really and truly _evil._ And he was coming for her now, opening his mouth as he stood over her coffin…her _coffin!_ She heard herself whimper once, and it was a child's voice. She heard him chuckling low in his throat as he flung his cape back over his shoulder…she scooted back…he was coming closer, closer…_

"No!" she cried, flinging her arms forward, causing pain to lance up her left arm. Drew swerved, startled, and someone honked their horn at them. Drew pulled over hurriedly, and flipped on the emergency blinkers.

"You all right?" he asked her, holding on to her shoulders until her panting subsided into normal breathing.

"Yeah, I…I think so. Are…are we almost there?" she asked shakily.

"We'll be there in about two minutes." He replied, sensing that she didn't want to talk just yet. He flipped the blinkers off, and merged back into the almost nonexistent traffic.

Jo squeezed the crucifix, as if it could ward off the dreams that had plagued her for the past few nights, and whenever she happened to doze off. Fangula had never provoked such fear in her when he had seen her as a source of food, probably because he had also seen her as an unattainable one, and maybe because he even saw her as an almost-friend. Vlad just wanted her dead, for no other reason than that she was on friendly terms with a vampire, and he had almost succeeded in ending her life.

She let the cross drop, and closed her eyes once more. She and Drew had talked about what Fangula had done when the vampire was off getting something from the cafeteria for them, and that was the first time she heard about the daring rescue. When she asked if Fangula was okay, Drew had replied, "Well, he…it did shake him up a little, but the cross didn't hurt him." Then, he had said, "You know, it surprised me that _I _was the one he called for help. It was all over at that point, but he…he actually called _me,_ and he probably still thinks I hate him."

"Do you?" she had asked.

"No, I didn't even hate him before. But if I did, I wouldn't be able to _now._" Drew had replied, "He risked everything to save you…You know, you could do a lot worse than him…"

That was the biggest surprise of all, to hear her brother say that.

***

Jo was relieved when they turned into the Hillhurst driveway, and a little surprised to see Fangula standing in a shady spot on the porch. He was wearing his dark glasses, and she could tell by the expression on his face that the light was still making him squint. Even so, he was smiling as he raised his arm in a vigorous wave. He turned and called out something that she couldn't hear, and Flabber, Roland, and the other house monsters (except for Little Ghoul, who was hiding out of shame) practically burst through the door. Rosamund emerged a moment later, somewhat more dignified than the others.

Drew began to help Jo off with her seat belt, but she smiled and said, "I can do it. I'm not crippled for life, you know."

He shrugged and got out of the car, and as if he hadn't heard her, he opened the door for her with a courtly bow.

"You are impossible." She growled playfully as she passed him. Amidst all the cheering and the clapping, she and Fangula came together and embraced. He was warm from standing outside in the heat, and he was even wearing a touch of Old Spice. She had hardly looked up when he covered her mouth with his own, eliciting a catcall from Mums.

Flabber tapped Fangula on the shoulder, and said dryly, "All right, enough of that, it's my turn."

Fangula raised an eyebrow, and returned gamely, "Just for a hug, Flabber…a _short_ one! She's already spoken for."

Flabber was about to come out with a retort, but Jo quickly gave him the hug he had requested, and he forgot what he had been about to say. "How goes the day, Flabber?" she asked lightly, and all he could do was laugh.

"Ooh, look!" Frankenbeans bounced excitedly, pointing to her purple cast, "Pretty color! Me see?"

"Let's get her inside first," said Fangula, knowing that Frankie would probably try to pick her up by it, and she couldn't crack her knuckles to summon her strength with an injured arm. Just then, he noticed that his mother was shielding her face, and at the same time he noticed that the crucifix was hanging from Jo's neck. "Jo, can you please put that away?" he asked, pointing.

"What?" she looked down, then up at the cringing vampiress. "Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry!" she said quickly, tucking the cross into her collar and out of sight. "I forgot I had it on! Are you okay?"

"Quite all right," Rosamund reassured her, though her eyes were a little red, "just try to remember next time." Then, seeing that Jo was almost on the verge of tears, she said more gently, "My dear, don't worry about it. It was as much from the sun as from the crucifix. Come, let us go inside."

***

Jo sat on the couch between Drew and Fangula, and she did her best to answer the monsters' questions about the hospital and what had happened to her. She said that she didn't remember much about the 'accident', but her stay in the hospital wasn't too bad, aside from the food. Everyone but Frankenbeans was disgusted when she said that her first meal in the hospital, a plastic cup of vanilla pudding, looked like melted yellow crayons and tasted about the same.

When there was finally a lull in the conversation, Flabber suggested that he and some of the monsters find something that was safe for them all to eat…the monsters happened to like any variety of creepy-crawlies, but there was also some human food in the house. That left the three Beetleborgs and the two vampires, who sat quietly for a moment until Jo pinched the bridge of her nose and sighed.

"Jo?" asked Fangula.

"Hmm?" she looked over at him.

"Something's wrong, isn't it? Is it your arm?" he asked, and she smiled.

"No, my arm's okay. I just…well, I fell asleep on the way over, and I had a dream that disturbed me. Without the painkillers…well, I haven't been getting much sleep."

"You never told me that," Drew said quietly. "You have to be careful with that, Jo. I don't want you getting addicted to that stuff."

She nodded, and sighed. Why had she told them all that? Was the lack of sleep affecting her mind, making her loopy? Well yeah, actually, it was, but still…Maybe she should tell them what the dreams were about, that they were all about _him_. But she didn't want them to worry…Still, weren't they already worried? Wait, that was the point, wasn't it? _Aaarrgh!_

Fangula had said something, but she had missed it. "I'm sorry, what was that?"

"You dreamed about Vlad, didn't you? About the accident?" he repeated.

"Yes, and no." she sighed. "I dreamed about him coming for me, but I don't really remember the accident. I don't know…forget it, it doesn't matter."

Fangula and Drew shared a glance, and Roland excused himself to help Flabber and the others. Fangula shook his head. "I won't forget it, and it does matter. We'll help you get through this…right?" he looked over at Drew.

"Absolutely…look, I'm just gonna go…yeah." he jerked a thumb in the direction of the kitchen and excused himself, suddenly feeling like an intruder. Rosamund politely followed suit, and it was just the two of them.

"What was all that about?" mused Fangula.

"I don't know." Jo shrugged, and then gave vent to a great sigh and rubbed the cast over her forearm.

"What's wrong? Does it hurt?"

"A little bit; the percodan's wearing off. It's too soon to take another one, though. Sorry about the cross…I hope I didn't hurt your mother…" she looked away miserably, and he put an arm around her.

"She's fine, don't worry. I…"

"What?"

"I think she likes you." he told her, "If she didn't, she would have at least hissed at you."

"Yes, why _do_ vampires do that?" she asked, "I've been wondering about that for years."

He chuckled, rubbing the back of his neck. "Mostly to intimidate, though the only one I've ever seen her hiss at was me when I misbehaved!"

She eyed him coquettishly, and inquired, "What, were you a naughty little boy?"

"Depends on what you mean by naughty." He replied. "Neither of my parents was much for capital punishment, but my mother would hiss and gnash her fangs at me. I remember one time…when I was five years old, I put strawberry jam in her favorite perfume, just to see if it would improve the smell! I didn't like it, so I thought if I could fix it…" he trailed off, as she was laughing pretty hard by now, and he had no choice but to join in.

Finally, she said, "I did something similar, only I used liquid soap! Unlike you, I _did_ get a spanking for that one!"

"Ooh," he groaned, "parents!"

"Ugh, totally!" she did a valley-girl impression of her room mate, Kate, and that set them off again. When they were quiet once more, another thought occurred to her. "Can I ask you something?"

"Of course."

"Well…you look the same as you did ten years ago, and if you're over three hundred…well, how do vampires age?"

"We don't. Or, rather, we age at the rate of a human until we reach our fathers' physical ages, then we stop. You see, when a human is transformed into a vampire, they stay as they are for all time, and if the vampire is a man, any offspring he has will grow older until they reach his 'changing age', then they will stop growing and remain thus. Both of my parents were vampires when I was born, so physically my father and I would have been the same age if he was still alive, while chronologically he would have had some years on me. I don't know how it is for dhampires, though…"

"Damn-what?" she asked.

"Dhampires." he corrected her gently, "They're human and vampire crossbreeds. As far as I know, there are only three living in the world today, but there may be more. At any rate, I don't know much about them."

"Oh." She frowned, suddenly unnerved. What would happen if they were to have children? But she didn't even know if they could get married, let alone have a baby. "Fangula?"

"Yes?"

"Are you sure you want to…you know, marry me?" she asked, almost in a whisper.

"Of course I'm sure." he said firmly.

"But…what about kids? You don't want half-breed kids…I don't even know if you want kids!" 

"Jo…" he trailed off. He didn't know what to say.

"It's okay…I understand if you don't want to marry—"

"But I do!" he said quickly, "I'm not sure what sort of father I'd be, but if we ever did have children, I…well, I would do my best to be a good one. I'm just worried about what might happen to them when they grow up. But listen to me! Talking about how our children will be when we're just barely engaged!"

She smiled, and was about to reply when the others trooped in with bowls of party munchies and sodas. "To be continued," she whispered, kissing his left eye and making him blink.

"Soooo," drawled Mums, "did we miss anything _interesting?_"

"Stop it, Mums," Drew gave the mummy a gentle backhanded swat, "Leave them alone."

"Art Fortunes is on his way over," said Flabber, interrupting smoothly, "He says he has some sort of surprise."

***

Wolfgang began to bark as the red Dodge Intrepid turned into the driveway, crunching gravel. The cartoonist soon emerged from the car, garbed in paint-spattered overalls and combat boots, and carrying his sketchbook. Was his surprise a drawing? Not that it would be disappointing if it was; Flabber could make whatever it was real, and who knows what that could bring!

"Hi, Art!" Jo called from the porch, waving with her good arm. He clomped up the steps, and was pleasantly surprised when she kissed him on the cheek.

"Jo, you're looking much better." He said as she and Flabber drew him in.

"Thanks. What's that you got there?" she asked, pointing to his sketchbook. 

"Oh, that! Well, it's actually for Count Fangula, but you may benefit from it, too." he grinned at her blank expression, "Come on, I'll show ya." he sat down beside her on the couch, then rested his sketchbook on his lap and opened it. Covering the first page were several different angle drawings of something that looked like a wristwatch. Fangula leaned forward from behind the couch and studied the drawings with equal parts of interest and confusion.

"I give up," the vampire said, "What is it?"

"Well, I don't have a name for it. But if it works, it will change your outward appearance to make you look human. It doesn't change _you,_ it just puts up something like a hologram. I got the idea from some Saturday morning kid's show I caught while channel surfing, but I forget the name of it. The point is, you can go anywhere with Jo, without drawing any unwanted attention." He paused as the others murmured to themselves, then continued, "It's yours if you want it, all I need is for Flabber to make it real…if he's willing to do it."

"Are you kidding?" the phasm flung his arms wide, "Of course I'm willing to do it! It sounds great."

Fangula put a hand on Jo's shoulder, and she covered it with her own hand. "What do you think, Fang?" she asked.

"I think I owe him one." The vampire smiled.

"Okay, stand back!" Flabber pushed back his sleeves to reveal his azure forearms. Art left the pad on the couch and joined the others at the far side of the room. "From cold blood to warm, let this object take form!" 

The sketches merged on the page to form a three-dimensional image, and the image rose into the air and headed straight for Fangula, who had the wit not to duck. The 'watch' wrapped itself around his wrist, and Flabber shrugged his shoulders. "Not one of my more creative spells, but what do you want for such short notice?"

Fangula removed his gloves looked at his hands, and they were still chalk white. "It didn't work." He said, sounding disappointed.

"Wait a minute," said Art, reaching for the device. He pressed a little red button on the side, and Fangula's image shivered for a moment. "There."

Fangula looked at his hands, and saw that they were still pale, but flesh-toned. He ran his tongue over his teeth and he could still feel his fangs. So, it _did_ only change his appearance.

Jo stared at him. His hair no longer appeared spiky, and his face was only a shade lighter than her own. His eyes, which had been hazel before (except when he was angry), hadn't changed. His lips, while still a bit on the thin side, were no longer blue, but an extremely pale coral color. His cheeks seemed fuller. He looked completely human! She stared at his face for almost a full minute, then took his hand and pressed the red button, causing his image to revert back to normal. "That's okay for public places, but I think I prefer you this way." Then she turned to the cartoonist, and hugged him gratefully. "Thanks, Art!"


	15. Chapter 15

Stranger than Fiction

Chapter 15

Back to school, ho-hum…

Because she had missed some time, Jo had double the work to make up. Since her reasons for missing classes had been legitimate she had not been penalized, but she knew she could not afford to miss more time. The work, while not actually hard to do, was time consuming; for the past two days, she hadn't seen Fangula at all, and had only managed to talk to him once on the phone. 

This last was her room mate's doing. When Kate wasn't out with some person or other, she was on the phone, planning other such outings. To her credit, she had been solicitous about Jo's accident, and had even brought up supper those two nights. Now, on the third day since her release from the hospital, Jo was alone once more, with her books strewn about her bed. Fortunately she was almost at the bottom of the work pile, so she could afford to kick back a little. In fact, she was finishing up with the last assignment, with a bowl of microwave popcorn as her only companion.

When the phone rang, she assumed that it was just another one of Kate's friends and let the machine get it. At the fourth ring, Kate's bubbly voice filled the room: "Hey, you've reached the room of Kate and Jo! If you're hearing this message, we're probably out having a good time! Leave your name and number, and one of us will track you down. Later!"

Jo rolled her eyes. How embarrassing! When had Kate recorded _that?_

_Beep_: "Ah…he—hello? Jo, this is Rosamund…if you are there, could you…er, 'pick up'?"

In her confusion, the vampire woman's accent had become thick. This was one trait she and her son shared; whenever Fangula was flustered or upset he would roll his R's, and sometimes he would be almost impossible to understand. The worst was when he would lapse into Romanian, which Jo had only ever seen once or twice.

Jo made a dive for the phone, making a mental note to erase their conversation afterwards. "Hi, sorry, I thought it was one of Kate's friends calling."

"Ah, I greet you. I thought, perhaps, we could meet tonight and talk." Said Rosamund, who had thought it best to get right to the point.

"Is something wrong? Is Fangula okay?" Jo asked, speaking quietly.

"Oh, no! No, he's fine. It is nothing like that. I merely wish to speak with you; that was the reason for my coming here to America in the first place."

"Oh." Jo said stupidly, twisting around to look at the clock radio on the night stand behind her. It was 7:00 at night, a safe time for vampires to be out and about. 

"Can you meet me at the…" there was a pause, as if Rosamund had stopped to look at something, "the Happy Pirate? It is the only dark restaurant I could find." She sounded apologetic; the name of the eatery left much to be desired.

"Oh, um, sure…" Jo agreed, trying to remember where that was, "What time?"

"As soon as possible; I am at the table farthest to the back. Do hurry…the waiters are wearing pirate hats…"

Jo chuckled, and they said good-bye. It occurred to her that she could be walking into a trap, but she discounted this immediately. Even if Rosamund had secret designs against Jo, she probably wouldn't risk acting on them in public. Besides, the vampire woman seemed to be genuine, and was a Lady to boot. After erasing the message, Jo caught a ride with one of the students on campus, and she made it to the restaurant in twenty minutes.

***

While Rosamund waited for Jo, the ridiculously garbed waiters kept coming to the table and pestering her about what she would like to have. Finally she consented to order some coffee, which she forced herself to sip whenever one would look at her. She disliked this, having to hide her nature, but it was a necessary evil. Also, she was getting hungry; it had been several days since her last successful hunt, and she was very picky about whom she did choose. Like some of the vampires in Anne Rice's novels, of which she had read two, she preyed only on the evil doers; she would sometimes go many nights without blood, until she found someone committing rape, or something of an equally horrid nature. She disliked killing, but she still needed the blood and would hunt when her body demanded it; taking the 'evil ones' helped to ease her conscience somewhat. Though she didn't know her son's hunting habits, he was much the same. Not even the other monsters knew what he ate while he was out prowling the streets, but the truth was he rarely ever killed. 

Count Fangula would only take about a pint from a victim, and leave them to heal as he found someone else; this was why the people of Charterville had yet to figure out that something was going on. Vampires were able to cast a sort of spell on people who had passed puberty, a spell that would make them forget any such encounter; the only remnant would be the bite mark on the neck, which by then would look like nothing more than a pair of mosquito bites. This was Fangula's usual method of securing the precious blood. This was why Vlad hated him so much, but what the vampire chief didn't know was that it was Fangula's mother who had instilled such lessons of morality in him. 

Rosamund looked up, instinctively knowing that Jo had arrived, and she rose to greet her as she approached the table. "Thank you for coming at such short notice."

"Oh, no problem. What did you want to talk about?" Jo asked as she sat down.

"Perhaps you would like to order something first?" asked Rosamund, who had spied a waiter approaching them.

"Hello, ladies. Are you ready to order?" asked the pimple-faced kid, who looked to be about seventeen.

"Just an iced tea, thank you." replied Jo, seeing Rosamund's hackles beginning to rise. 

When the waiter left, Rosamund leaned forward and whispered, "That insolent boy kept appearing at this table every minute and a half; I timed it!"

Jo saw a flash of fang behind the woman's red lips, and she realized that the vampiress was far from being angry; quite the contrary, she was extremely amused! That was no sneer; it was a suppressed grin. Rosamund brought her hand up to shield her fangs from view.

They were still giggling when the waiter returned with Jo's drink…and almost spilled it. He left again, and Jo shook her head as she pulled the bit of paper off the end of the straw and squeezed the lemon wedge into the glass. "Oh boy…So, what did you want to talk about?" she asked.

Rosamund became a little bit more serious, and sighed. "Well, to begin with, I know that my son has asked you to marry him. Whether I approve or not, and I do not say that I disapprove, I think that he will do it anyway. I merely wished to get to know you, and to give you an idea of what you are getting into."

"Oh…" Jo stirred the tea with her straw and frowned pensively.

"I tell you right now, I am not going to mettle. What my son does is up to him, and I do like you. I hope we can be friends."

"I do, too…He—Fangula, I mean, mentioned something the other day…what was it…Dhampires?" Jo asked hesitantly.

"Mmm, yes…that is part of what I wished to speak to you about. Did he tell you what they are?" she inquired, and when Jo nodded she continued, "All right…that makes it a little bit easier. For the most part, we vampires do not like them. They are being pulled in two different directions, and if the human side wins out they become hunters. If the vampire side wins, they usually get careless and get themselves in trouble. So far, there has only been one dhampire who managed to adapt to life in both worlds, but Vlad destroyed her."

"Why?" Jo asked, appalled.

"Because he did not like her." Rosamund said with a trace of bitterness. "If you do marry my son, I trust that you will think carefully before you have children. As much as I would like to be a grandmother, and indeed I would love them dearly, it might be best in the long run for…well, it is your decision to make, not mine."

"That's okay, I know what you're saying." Jo smiled, sipping her tea.

Rosamund sighed, relieved that what she had said hadn't been taken the wrong way. Then, lacing her fingers together on the tabletop, she asked, "What do you feel when you look at my son?"

Jo thought carefully for a moment, not sure how to answer this. She was sure that Rosamund was uninterested in the sexual aspect of their feelings for one another…Finally, she looked up. "I feel like…like a piece of my life, a piece I didn't even know was missing, has suddenly fallen into place. I almost feel like I'm being lifted, like someone has hold of my heart, and is lifting me from the ground by it, but it doesn't hurt…I don't know how else to describe it."

Rosamund shook her head in wonder. "That was one potent love spell!"

"Yeah…" Jo sighed, then straightened up when she became aware of the dopey grin that was plastered on her face. Rosamund pretended not to notice.

"What do you do for school? I mean, what are you training for?" asked Rosamund.

"Oh! Well, I haven't chosen a major yet. I'm taking a student success course, English, History…um…and Social Sciences. I'm really not sure if College is for me, but then I haven't really given it much of a chance."

"Mmm…I think it is worth it, to learn new things." The vampiress mused, and the double meaning of that statement was not lost on Jo.

Instead of commenting on that, Jo changed the subject. "Fangula mentioned that he was married before, but he didn't love her."

"Ah, yes…his father arranged the marriage, hoping to gain status. Neither of them wanted to get married. Did he tell you that when he protested, Adrian—my late husband—struck him in the mouth, splitting his lip, and called him an ungrateful little…er, pardon the crude language, 'shit'?"

"No." Jo shook her head, her eyes widening as she felt a pang in her heart for Fangula.

Rosamund nodded. "The woman treated him like dirt, but he was stuck until Victor Nussbaum drove a stake into her heart. He almost didn't escape with his own life, and I think that was the first time that they _didn't_ get their bat…I know that it is a terrible thing to say, but I was glad when that happened because then he might be able to find someone to be happy with. And now, with you, he seems to have found that happiness…I…I have decided to give you my blessing. I just hope it works out for the best."

Jo was torn between crying and laughing, and ended up doing both as Rosamund reached across the table and gave her hand a squeeze. "Thank you…"

"Don't thank me…I always did want a daughter."

***

That night, after Jo had finished her assignment, she called Hillhurst's number. The thing was, she never knew who was going to pick up the phone…

This time, it just happened to be Mums. "It's your dime, Freak Show, start talkin'!"

"Hey, Mums. Is Fangula there?" she asked, deliberately ignoring his 'greeting'.

"Hey, what's up, Beautiful?" the mummy teased, "Yeah, he's here, glaring daggers at me…what…hey…ouch! Okay, okay! Sheesh…" there was the sound of a scuffle, and the crash-tinkle of something breaking. Then Fangula was on the line.

"Hi, sorry about that. What's up?" he asked, sounding breathless.

"Oh, not much. I was just talking to your mother." She replied.

"Oh, no…" he groaned. "Where did she corner you and why?"

She laughed, and said, "She didn't corner me! She asked me to meet her at a restaurant, and we just talked."

He snorted, and said, "About _me,_ right?"

She could hear that he wasn't really annoyed, so she went on, "Partly. She said she just wanted to get to know me. It's really _not_ as bad as it sounds. In the end, she said we had her blessing, and we made fun of the waiters."

"She said that?" he asked, smiling, not surprised at all; she had said the same thing to him earlier that day.

"Yeah. Now we just have _my_ parents to worry about."

"What about Drew?"

She twisted the phone cord around her finger, and replied, "Well, he told me I could do a lot worse."

"He said 'worse', not 'better'?" he asked in disbelief.

"Yup." She grinned.

"But why? He hated the idea of us being together."

"Well, I think it had something to do with your saving my life." She said quietly.

"Well, I…I couldn't just…"

"I know." she smiled.

"When can I see you again?" he asked.

"How's tomorrow?" she returned.

"Mmm…that's no good. How about tonight?"

"Tonight?"

"Yeah." he cleared his throat. "It's kind of important."

"Oh…okay, I'll be there as soon as I can."

"Great! So, I'll see you then."

"Yeah. I love you." she said.

"I love you, too."

***

Drew pulled up to Hillhurst, and Jo took a deep breath to calm herself. What had been so important that he had to see her tonight? It didn't sound like it was something bad; he would have at least sounded upset. Also, from the few not-so-subtle hints her brother dropped, he was in on it too. Oh, well…nothing to do but go inside and face it, whatever it was…

They passed through the door, and were greeted by Count Fangula, who seemed to be alone in the house. While that itself was hardly possible, not even Flabber came in to greet them. It was almost as if there was an unspoken agreement that this was just for them. "Hi, Jo."

"Hey…what's going on?"

Drew headed for the parlor, and she looked after him and wondered, not for the first time, if he was in on it. When she looked back, she saw Fangula taking something from his pocket. It was a black velvet box.

"Jo, when I asked you to marry me that night, I was caught up in the moment. I was a little hasty. I even forgot about this." He opened the box, and inside was a _very_ old looking diamond ring. It sparkled as if it had just been cleaned and polished, but it was obviously antique, and very special. His hands shook slightly as he held the box, and he continued, "This belonged to my grandmother, who died long ago as a human and passed this on to my mother. She in turn gave it to me to give to the one I choose…and I choose you. Will you wear it?"

She practically knocked him down with the force of her hug, and he laughed, "I guess so! Here. Here, give me your hand…" he removed the ring from the box, and slipped it gently onto her left ring finger. It was a perfect fit. "Well…now it's official. We're engaged for real."

"Oh, isn't that just _sweet?_" called Mums from the parlor doorway, making kissy sounds and hugging himself.

"Darn it, Mums, get back _in_ here!" yelled Flabber, whose hand shot out of nowhere on an arm that stretched, dragging the mummy back into the parlor. "Don't ya know the meaning of the word_ privacy?_"

"Sure, I just don't care."

Jo and Fangula glanced at each other, and burst into hysterical laughter. Mums would never change!

__

Author's Note: FYI, the next chapter might contain a sex act; I've already written it two ways. In one version it is understood that they will have sex, and in the other one it goes into more (not graphic) detail. Your reviews will decide which one it will be. I did my best to keep it in the R level and not the NC-17 level, meaning some petting but nothing you wouldn't see on HBO. I know that NC-17 is no longer a rating option (which sucks, because I like to read those stories sometimes), so I've tried to abide by fanfiction.net's rating rules. If, when I get that chapter up you are offended, please tell me instead of reporting me, and I'll be able to clean it up a little. As much as I hate having to do that, I'd rather have that happen than have my story taken down. Okay, enough groveling. See you guys next chapter! ^_^


	16. Chapter 16

Stranger than Fiction

__

Author's Note: Warning!! There is sex in this chapter! Those of you who are easily offended, or who are too young (You know who you are, so please, don't get me in trouble by reading this!), please skip this chapter. Again, I didn't use graphic images, and they did nothing 'unconventional', so I think this chapter qualifies as R-rated, NOT NC-17. If you disagree, please e-mail me instead of reporting me, and I will clean things up a bit. I'd hate to have to do that, but I'd rather that than have my whole story booted off. For those (few) of you who are following this story, I apologize for my lack of updates…I now have the entire outline completed, I just need to find the time in my 40 hour workweek to write up the chapters. Well, anyways, on with the show!L 

Chapter 16

Jo sat up with a gasp.

It was the night after Fangula had given her his ring, and she had been out of pain medication for two days. It wasn't as if her arm hurt that badly, but she couldn't seem to sleep the night through without the pills. Whenever she allowed herself to nod off, Vlad's face would loom up before her eyes and she would awaken just in time to keep herself from screaming. 

Could he…_would_ he dare to attack her in her room? Aside from the fact that she wore a crucifix, she didn't see why not. And even if she _was_ safe from him, would he go after Fangula instead? She was a Beetleborg, but Fangula was only a vampire of low nobility. In the dream she had just awakened from, Vlad had broken Fangula's neck…only after he had had some fun torturing him first. Making him scream…

_Was_ it just a dream?

Quietly, so as not to wake Kate, Jo picked up the phone. The numbers glowed green, so there was no need to turn on the lamp. Her hands were shaking so hard that she could barely punch in the correct numbers, and she had to hang up and start over twice. The phone rang once…twice…three times…

_Come on, guys…_

There was a click, and Flabber's cheerful voice filled her ear. "Hey, Jo, what's up?"

"How…how did you know it was me?" she asked, blinking.

The phasm snickered, and said, "Who else would be calling? Drew and Roland never call at three in the morning, and the monsters don't use the phone much. Who else _could _it be?"

"Oh. Sorry, I didn't realize it was that late."

"Ppbbbt, don't worry about it. There's _always_ someone awake here." There was a rustling, creaking sound as the phasm sat back down on his bed, and switched the phone to his other hand. "So, what's on your mind?"

"I…jeez, I'm really sorry to be bothering you with this…" she trailed off.

"Will you stop apologizing? That's what friends are for; you can call here any time, day or night. Besides, I was just watching the reruns on Nick-at-Nite. How many times can you watch 'I Love Lucy' before you puke?"

She laughed weakly, "Not many. I…I called to see if Fangula was okay. I know it's silly, but I've been…having nightmares, and…" she swallowed hard, fighting back sudden tears, "and I saw Vlad k…kill him…he broke his neck, and I…I just wanted to make sure…" she sniffled, and wiped her eyes on her pillowcase.

"Aw, don't cry. He's fine. I'd have felt it if something happened." The phasm sat up, more than a little flustered, and continued, "Do you want me to put him on?"

"I…not if he's sleeping…"

"He's not. He's downstairs playing badminton in the parlor."

"Huh?"

"Don't ask…we're a kooky bunch." Flabber smirked. "Can you hold on for a minute?"

"Yeah."

***

"Frankie, give it back! Come _on!_" cried Mums, chasing after Frankenbeans, who had decided to play keep-away with the shuttlecock. "Gimme the damn birdie, will ya?" He swatted at Frankie's butt with his racquet, missed, and knocked over a lamp instead.

"Hey!" Fangula yelled, placing his left fist on his hip and gesticulating with his racquet arm, "What's the matter with you? That's an antique!"

"So are you!" Mums retorted, tossing his racquet aside and tackling Frankie, clinging to his back like a bandaged spider and giving him a power-noogie. "I'm not getting off until you drop it!"

"Arrh, areerharrhar arooh rahrrerrrarrrr!" growled Wolfgang, tossing his racquet onto the couch and sitting down right where he was on the floor.

"What?" asked Mums and Frankie in unison.

Fangula sighed. "He says, 'Hey, this could go on all night,' and I agree. I…" he was about to say 'I quit,' but Flabber suddenly materialized in front of them in his nightcap and pajamas.

"Hey guys, try to keep it down to a dull roar, okay?" Flabber intoned, as if he knew that it would do no good.

"He started it!" growled Mums, taking advantage of the distraction and snatching the shuttlecock from Frankenbeans. "Got it! Haa-haa!"

Flabber sighed and shook his head as the game was resumed, then he seemed to remember something. "Oh! Um, Fangula, can I borrow you for a minute?"

"What for?" Fang asked, hitting the birdie over the net.

"You have a phone call." Flabber replied.

"Ooh!" Mums lunged for the birdie, and never missing a beat he said, "I'll bet it's your little girl friend! Give her a kiss for me, _mwah!_" he made a kissing sound and wound up on the floor, with his head poking through the netting of Fangula's now-broken racquet as the vampire left the room. "Was it something I said? Oy…"

***

"Who's on the phone?" Fangula asked as he followed Flabber up the stairs. He didn't really know if it was Jo or not, but he was getting sick of the mummy's crass jokes about the two of them getting it on.

"I'll tell you when we get upstairs," the phasm turned to him, and his clothing morphed into a moth-eaten old parlor jacket as he whispered in a husky voice, "These walls have ears, you know…"

Fangula hardly batted an eye when a pair of ears formed on the ancient wall paper. The phasm's shenanigans were pretty commonplace by now, and he figured that if he was making jokes then things couldn't be too bad with his mystery caller. Well, not so much a mystery _caller_ as a mystery _reason_ for her calling; he knew it had to be Jo. His mother was staying with them at Hillhurst, so it couldn't be _her._

Fangula followed Flabber into the phasm's bedroom, and repeated his question. "So, who is it?"

"It's Jo. She had a nightmare, and…well, I'll leave you to it. Call me when you're done." And he departed in a cloud of blue smoke.

Fangula picked up the receiver, fumbled and almost dropped it, and put it to his ear and spoke into the mouthpiece. "Hello?"

"Fangula?" Jo asked, sounding so worried that for a moment he was afraid something really had happened.

"Jo, are you all right?" he asked, sitting down on the edge of the phasm's green armchair.

***

"Jo, are you all right?" she heard him ask, and she could feel herself losing control.

"I…" she gulped, "Yeah, I…"

"Jo?"

She held her breath, trying to control herself. She heard him moving, and it sounded like he was trying to pace, but was finding it difficult because of the phone cord.

"Jo? Talk to me! What happened?"

He was becoming afraid for her, she could tell by the sound of his voice. "I'm fine," she forced herself to speak evenly, "I just…I dreamed he…he came, and…"

"Slow down. Take a breath. Now, what happened?"

She took a deep breath, and let it out. "I wanted to make sure you were okay. I…I dreamed he came for you and…I just wanted to make sure…"

"I'm fine. We haven't seen or heard anything of him since that night. He's afraid of the crucifix, and I think he figures it took me out when he left. He won't be coming back any time soon. Trust me."

"But when he does…shit…I'm sorry I bothered you with this…" she sat up and leaned back against the headboard.

"No, don't apologize. I'm glad you called. He's no laughing matter. He…" Fangula stopped speaking. What he had been about to say would only upset her further.

"He what?" Jo pressed, unwilling to let the matter drop if it concerned their safety. "Tell me."

The vampire sighed, and said, "Well, he did try to kill you twice. I shouldn't be saying that, though…"

"Why not? It's true, and I already knew about it." She replied.

"Yes, well…I guess so. Do you want me to come over?" he asked.

"Are you sure it's safe? I mean, if he does come?" 

"He knows where I live, so I'll be just as safe _at_ Hillhurst as I'd be _away_ from Hillhurst. Do you want me to come over?"

Jo looked over at the clock, and saw that it was almost three-thirty. "Well, my room mate's here, and I don't want to wake her up. Do you want to meet me somewhere?"

"Sure. I know a place we can go; it's safe, and I've never told the others about it. How about I meet you outside the dorms, and I'll take you there. We'll be safe from just about anything then."

"Okay."

"I love you."

She smiled. "I love you, too." She hung up the phone, and was in the process of tip-toeing over to the dresser when she was blinded by a sudden light. Kate had switched on her bedside lamp and was sitting up in bed with her arms folded.

"And where might _you_ be going?" Kate asked with a smirk.

"I…um, I…well…" Jo stammered, and Kate's smirk deepened.

"I thought so. That pale guy _was _your boyfriend, wasn't he? Or, judging by that rock on your finger, maybe he's something more?"

Jo sighed. There would be no winning _this_ argument. "He's my fiancée, and I'm going to see him. I know we're not supposed to be out past midnight, but…"

"You want me to cover for you, right?" Kate asked. Jo could only nod. "Do you have any classes tomorrow?" She asked, and when Jo shook her head Kate's smirk turned into a genuine smile, and she winked and said, "Have fun."

"You're serious? You'll really cover for me?" Jo was incredulous.

"Sure, why not? Besides, you can owe me one the next time _I_ want to sneak out." She winked again to indicate that she was kidding.

***

Even though Fangula could fly in his bat form, Jo couldn't fly at all while she wasn't in her Beetleborg armor and would need transportation. Eleven years ago, Les Fortunes had left his old pickup truck at Hillhurst when he had posed as 'the junkman' and had come to trade some bugs for the Astral Sword and Coins. The truck had later become a project for the monsters; they spent a good amount of time restoring it, and now it looked like something a vintage car collector would sell his soul for. The wooden slats were gone, and the whole thing had been given a new, jet-black paint job. This was what he would use to pick up Jo. The monsters had given him a rousing send-off, the loudest of which was Mums, who yelled, "Go get 'em, Tiger!" at the top of his lungs. Rosamund had been out hunting, so he was spared that humiliation at least.

Jo was waiting under one of the trees, using the shadow to her advantage, and he would have driven right past her if she hadn't stepped forward. He started to get out of the truck, but she waved him back in and said, "Someone might see me leaving. As it is, Kate knows I'm sneaking out."

He unlocked the passenger side door and laughingly returned, "So get in, already!"

***

"So, where's this place you're taking me to?" she asked him when they had been driving for some time. She didn't even recognize this part of Charterville; it was more country-looking.

"You'll just have to trust me." he said, brushing her cheek with his gloved fingers without taking his eyes off the road. "We're nearly there." After a while, he spoke again. "We're coming to the river. You ever wonder where I go when I'm not at Hillhurst and when I'm not hunting my supper?"

"Where?" she asked.

"There's the waterfall." Was all he said in answer, and in less than a minute, she could actually _see_ the waterfall. He stopped the truck and took her hand. "Are you ready?"

"I…think so."

"Don't be afraid." He told her.

"I'm not."

"Then let's go."

He got out of the truck, and she opened her door before he could do it for her. "Oh, there's one thing I forgot…" He came out with an umbrella, and she got an idea of what he had in mind. 

While they were walking towards the waterfall, he told her about his secret place. "Okay. Now, this is one of the few places I have picked out for when the sun catches me. The sun doesn't bother us as much as you might think, but if we are to avoid serious discomfort we must hide from it. If I can't make it back to Hillhurst in time, I head for the closest secret place and hide there. All vampires have secret places, and sometimes we even have to use them to hide from other vampires."

They were nearing the waterfall, and he put up the umbrella and wrapped an arm around her shoulders so that he could hold it over her as well. "In case you haven't figured it out, it's under the falls."

They stepped into the water, and they were in up to their knees by the time they reached what turned out to be the entrance to a secret cave. He guided her by gentle pressure on her shoulders, and they continued to slosh forward until the ground sloped up, and the water gave way to damp and then dry rock. They went a little further and a little to their left, and there was a '_tak_' sound as Fangula set down the umbrella to dry. "Wait there…trust me." he let go of her, and she clutched the crucifix as he flicked a Bic lighter and lit a few candles. 

Her mouth sagged open in wonder at the sight of the room. There was a covered mattress on the floor (how he got that in she couldn't figure out), a small metal waste basket next to it, and a stack of blankets nearby. The mattress was actually on a fairly new-looking oriental rug, which covered the small cavern wall to wall. A few empty mouse traps littered the floor near the walls, and there was a can of cinnamon air freshener next to the mattress. He picked this up, and gave the air a spritz. "It gets kinda musty in here." He mumbled. "Not exactly the Ritz, but it's okay in a pinch. You'll be safe here, though you'd be just as safe in your room."

Jo looked down, embarrassed, and Fangula quickly corrected himself. "I didn't mean anything by that, I just…"

"I know. I was just being silly." Jo frowned, sitting down cross-legged on the low mattress, and he sat down beside her.

"No, you weren't. If something bothers you it bothers me. And we _are_ safe here." He ran the tip of his finger down the gentle slope of her nose, and she gave a small laugh.

"Tickles," she mumbled, resting her head on his shoulder. He hadn't expected that, and he swallowed so quickly that it almost went down the wrong pipe.

It was agonizing to have her so close, to have the sweet scent of her hair fill his nostrils, but he breathed it in anyway, unable to keep from breathing in. He wasn't sure if she noticed or not, but he hoped she wouldn't; at the same time, he hoped she would. It suddenly occurred to him that they were alone in a secluded spot, with a bed, and with no chance of their being discovered. Oh, the agony of temptation! He was about to lean away when she began kissing his neck. He gasped sharply; for a vampire the neck was a _very_ sensitive spot, almost as sensitive as their nether regions. He wasn't sure why, but he guessed that it was because many vampires started out as humans, and the neck was where they were usually bitten. A jolt of electric warmth spread from his neck to his shoulders, and he shivered.

"You okay?" Jo asked, sounding like she was surfacing for air.

"Jo, you have to stop, or…"

"Or what?" she asked, quirking an eyebrow and nipping his earlobe. He wasn't the only one to be influenced by their closeness! She felt it too, felt it much more strongly than she had in the park on the night of their first kiss, or in the shower when she had seen him naked. God, how she wanted this to happen!

"You know what will happen if you keep this up," he said breathlessly, "There won't _be_ any turning back this time! I love you too much to corrupt you."

She smiled against his neck, and replied, "We're engaged, aren't we?"

"Yes…"

"These days it's much more acceptable for engaged couples to do this before they're married. People almost expect it. I'm not a child, Fangula. I'm a grown woman, capable of making her own choices. I'm choosing to let this happen. You don't know how much I appreciate your not wanting to force me, and I don't want to force you into anything either…but if you want to do this now, I won't stop you." She leaned away, but he pulled her back with a growl and kissed her. She kissed him back, and her teeth nipped at his lips. 

"Mmm!" he gasped out between kisses, "Don't…if you make me bleed…and drink any of my blood, you'll…become…like me."

She hadn't even realized it, but when she did she kissed him more gently. She felt the tips of his fangs graze her lips as he sought to kiss her more deeply, and she allowed him to penetrate her mouth with his tongue. A slow, blossoming heat was throbbing steadily at her center, and she knew she had to have more. She needed him. _Now._ Her heart was aching with the force of her love, and another sort of ache was beginning to control her actions. She trailed her hand down Fangula's chest and timidly reached between his legs, and her hand encountered his rock-hard sex; he moaned, and kneaded her breasts with his palms while she undid his belt…and this time he let her. This was it…it would happen tonight. 

In less than a minute they had removed each other's clothing, and he pushed her gently back on the mattress and sat back. "Wait a minute." He rummaged around in one of the pockets of his discarded clothing, and came out with a wallet from which he withdrew a foil-wrapped condom. "Just in case," he explained, and she nodded.

"Um, you know…" he went on as he unwrapped the rubber, "If this is your first time, it'll probably hurt. Are you sure you want to…"

"I'm sure. I'm ready." She said, fighting the urge to cover herself with a blanket; she was more nervous than she was letting on, but she didn't want _him_ to know that.

"I just don't want to hurt you…" he hesitated.

She swallowed, and said, "Just go slow, let me get used to it. I've heard it gets better pretty quick."

He nodded once; he had heard that too, but since he was male he could only guess at how it really was. 

"What's the matter?" she asked when he had been staring at the rubber for a moment.

"I…Don't laugh, but I've never actually used these things before…and I kinda forgot to read the directions." He avoided eye contact, and that was a good thing; she had to take a moment to keep her mirth in check. It wouldn't be funny to him. It wasn't really funny to her, just a little surprising. "Wait, I got it now." he said, and it went on with no problem. She kissed him, and he gently pushed her back onto the mattress again. He was nervous too; what if he finished too quickly? Or not quickly enough? He felt her hand close around his penis, and he drew a shuddering breath.

"You okay?" she asked, having noted his hesitation…and his reaction.

"M—more than okay." he smiled, positioning himself over her. "Are you sure?" he asked, and in answer she grabbed him around the waist and pulled him forward and inside.

"Ssssss!" she gasped through her teeth. He was right; it _did_ hurt, and it hurt like hell! He stayed frozen in place, ready to pull back even though it would almost kill him to do so. She stared up at him, concentrating on his face, and he almost looked like he was ready to cry.

"I'm sorry…" he whispered, but she cut him off by putting her fingers to his lips.

"It's okay, it's not that bad." She was lying, but the pain _was_ receding. She'd be damn sore in the morning, but right now…now the pain was almost gone. And the heat was back…

She moved beneath him, and he took the hint. He was tentative and slow at first, watching her face for signs of pain, but after a few minutes her breath quickened and she wrapped her legs around him. That was all he needed to know. He propped his weight on his left arm as he cupped a breast with his right hand, and he kissed her as his pace quickened.

Neither of them lasted very long; she suddenly trembled and cried out, and that sent him over the edge. He rolled over and discreetly disposed of the rubber, then unfolded one of his blankets and spread it over them.

"Wow…" she whispered. He could only agree. 


End file.
